


Consumed (ON HOLD)

by xxinquisiladyxx



Category: Cullen - Fandom, Cullen Rutherford - Fandom, Dragon Age, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Rutherford - Fandom
Genre: Addicts, Awkward Cullen, Cullen Smut, F/M, Hospital, Love, Lyrium, Lyrium Withdrawals, Mage, Mystery, POV Cullen Rutherford, Trevelyan - Freeform, cullen rutherford - Freeform, female - Freeform, withdrawals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:42:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxinquisiladyxx/pseuds/xxinquisiladyxx
Summary: Emily Trevelyan is stuck in a marriage she no longer wants to be in with her childhood love while she tries to further her career. Getting the promotion of a lifetime will cause some rifts in her already teetering marriage. When she meets a man so broken even Emily isn't sure she can fix, her heart changes. Will she survive this? Will she leave her husband for her own happiness? Will she ever learn to trust and love again?





	1. Chapter 1 *

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've been sitting on for a while. I don't own these characters, names, or anything related to Dragon Age! This is an AU so it's not going to be the same. 
> 
> Another doctor/patient fic that no one asked for :D
> 
> [I am currently editing through this. Thank you for your support! I will put a * next to the chapters I've edited.]

**Consumed**

······

After a long day at the clinic, Emily came home to a mess in the house. Again. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, and let out a long and strangled breath. It had been another day where her patient went off the deep end and they had no choice but to put him out of his misery- meaning they tried to kill someone and hospital security had to shoot them. Each loss weighed heavily on Emily's chest, every single one of them.

 

"Liam?" Emily called out, walking into the kitchen to see the huge mess all about the floors and countertops.

 

"Liam?" She asks again, growing increasingly annoyed. This time she moved to the living room, covered in cans of soda and half eaten bags of chips.

 

"Liam! For fucks sake!" She yelled out, finally catching the attention of the inattentive male from their bedroom. Emily could feel her electricity spark between her thumb and forefinger, her agitation spurting her on. 

 

He came out from behind the door, swinging it open and almost hitting Emily in the face. "Babe! Why are you yelling?"

 

She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall across from their room. She lifted an eyebrow and clicked her tongue disappointedly. "Care to explain why the house isn't cleaned?"

 

"It is, I took the garbage out and I did the dishes." Liam says, clearly happy with his answer. Emily wondered what it was like in his brain, happily living in his own world. 

 

Emily walked back down the hallway and into the kitchen, throwing her arm in the air towards the empty cereal boxes and Pizza Hut containers littering the countertops, empty water bottles sitting beside the sink. "Does this look clean to you?" She picks up a bowl of cereal that had turned into cheese, turning her stomach upside down. 

 

"I don't know why you're upset! I did what you asked." He replies, leaning against the doorframe.

 

"Liam..." She warned, her angry expression clearly showing.

 

"What?" He asked, annoyed, rolling his eyes.

 

"How old are you! We've been married for almost five years and you still expect me to clean up after you like your mother?! When I asked to you to clean the house, this, this is not what I meant!" Emily raised her voice, her heart beating through her chest. She was ready for the argument that would turn into a pissing match again, tonight.

 

"I don't understand what you want from me, I did my part!" He counters back.

 

"Liam! I am always fucking cleaning this house!" She screamed, her throat already sore from the same argument last night. "Look at this! There is CHEESE in this cereal bowl! I cannot live like this anymore!" 

 

"That's because you already have it done before I come home!" Liam challenges.

 

"Because you won't fucking do it!" She angrily bellows, nearly choking on the lack of saliva.

 

"Whatever, I'm going back in the room." He rolls his eyes and huffing his breath and spinning on his heel to turn. 

 

"No! Fuck your stupid video games!" Emily cried, following him into the room. She raced past him, pulling the plug from behind the TV and ejecting the disk from the PlayStation. She holds the precious disk between her fingers and in her other hand, she draws a flame into her palm, eyeing her husband. She was feeling risky tonight, after that stunt at the hospital, she felt like she was on fire. Her literal veins were aching with fire, electricity, anything she needed, her body would supply.

 

"Don't you fucking dare.." Liam curses, stepping towards her and she steps backwards.

 

"Oh, I'll dare." She warns, her flame growing hotter as her rage continues. 

 

"Emily.." He pleads. It sickened her to see him almost grovelling for a damned video game. How is it that he could live this way? What would she have to do to make him a better man?

 

"Go fucking clean the house. Until then, I'm sealing this shit!" Emily yells, casting a seal onto the game and game console, rendering it unusable until she fixes it.

 

"Emily!" Liam yells, his fists balling and stalking towards her. 

 

"You even think about raising your hand to me and I'll fucking end you." She threatens, sheathing an ice dagger from her hand. She is a powerful mage, many talents and many accomplishments in her short lifetime. At this point, she wasn't afraid to protect herself anymore. 

 

"Is that a threat?" He spits.

 

"It's a promise." She replies, holding her dagger in the air and pointing it at him. "Remember what happened last time?"

 

"Come on.. Why can't you just clean the rest?!" He argued. "I was in the middle of something.."

 

"Or we could sign the divorce papers now. I have them drawn up already, don't test me." She hisses, tears behind her eyes, barely wanting to fathom that idea.

 

Of course Liam was an irrational, lazy, piece of work but they have been together since they were kids. Their marriage was arranged at infancy but they fell in love in high school, got married freshman year of college before Liam became a Templar. He was kicked out on medical but it was really because of his inability to do more than what benefits him, selfish prick. She was there through that, even when she was earning her master's in psychology and her minor in Lyrium addictions. She loved him but at this point, divorce seemed like the only way to fix things. Right? This wasn't healthy, she would tell her patients the same thing. Why couldn't she follow her own advice?

 

"E-Emily.. don't talk like that, please." Liam pleaded, his face falling at the idea.

 

"Then fucking listen to me! While you're living off of the governments money, I'm fucking working my ass off to make ends meet! I am at the end of my rope, Liam." Emily cried, tears falling from her eyes.

 

Liam stepped closer to her, holding his hands out. He wanted to comfort her, he loves her. She is all he has, disregarding his family that live far away from them. Emily let her ice dagger disappear and held her hands tight at her sides, as she cried and stared at the floor. Liam reached out for her, wrapping her small frame in his arms. It was just easier to give up than fight him, it was energy she didn't have nor wanted to use.

 

In a simpler time, these would be the arms she'd throw herself into when she graduated school. When she graduated college. When she lost a patient to suicide three weeks after she started her first clinical trials. When her father died of cancer and when her mother stopped calling her. In a simpler time, these would be the arms that shielded her from all that bad in the world.

 

Now, he was becoming a man she did not recognize.

 

······

 

Emily awoke in the living room, she remembered she didn't want to share the same bed as her ridiculous husband. Her head ached and ached, her stomach would soon spill all of its contents since she starved herself through the night. It was truly a bad habit, battling her anxiety and depression by not eating. That started when she was barely a teenager, of course, those things didn't exist at that age.

 

She rolled over to her side and unlocked her phone. She scrolled through the many messages she received from Liam, since he liked to act like a child and text her instead of a face to face conversation. After deleting all of the "I'm sorry's" and "come back to bed's" on top of the "I love you's," she managed to check her emails. First her personal, nothing but coupons and promotions to her favorite stores. Then her work email, just a bunch of questions from patients which she would happily answer. Then an email from her boss, something that always made her nervous. The tagline read "Opportunities, Opportunities.."

 

"Dr. Trevelyan,

 

I am still at a loss as to why you still have yet to take your husband's name, you've been married for how long? Some of our patients don't realize who you are. (Maybe it's because I earned my degree through years of hard work not him?)

 

Anyway, I have some very good news for you. One of your colleagues put in a good word for you with the chair director, Dr.Pentaghast and she would like to schedule a meeting with you at your 'earliest convenience.' Job well done, Emily.

 

Varric Tethras, PSY.D"

 

"Mr. Tethras,

 

Thank you for the email, please let Dr. Pentaghast know as soon as possible that I will arrive around noon?

 

Have a wonderful morning,  
Dr. Emily E. Trevelyan."

 

  
Holy.

 

Fucking.

 

Andraste!

 

Emily could barely believe her eyes, she could feel her heart racing. How is this possible?! She wondered who put in the good word for her, Solas maybe? Vivienne, possibly? Whoever it was, she would find out and kiss the very ground they walked on!

 

She shot out off the couch and ran to the bathroom, noticing the mess Liam made before he left to do Maker knows what. She sighed, remembering nothing actually got done yesterday, Liam just cuddled with her until he fell asleep. She nearly slapped herself, she knew that would happen... That always happens. Liam always found a way to make everything her fault and then make her "feel better" by telling her how much he loves her and all that nonsense.

 

In the moment of all that excitement, Emily's stomach turned. In moments like this she wished she could tell Liam, be excited about things with him like she used to be. She wished she had her dad to talk to, her mom wouldn't talk to her anyway.

 

Then she remembered, "this could be my way out." Would she end up leaving Liam? If she got a promotion, she'd finally make enough money for a divorce and to find a place far away from him, from their families. The thought of leaving Liam broke her heart more than he has of late, but she needed to remember what to do that's best for her and her life. As she grew older, she realized that she needed to focus on herself more. On her own career and health.

 

"Do I have the balls to do it?" She asked herself, looking down at the small band around her left finger. It wasn't anything specific, just a silver band. Liam thought it would spoil her too much to have a legitimate diamond or even a real gemstone. That never bothered her until now. Did he ever really love her or was she just a pawn in everyone else's game?

 

Emily threw her long black hair up into a tight, high ponytail, a few baby hairs straggling the sides of her face. She filled in her eyebrows just enough to fill in the sparse areas that didn't want to grow, probably from all her stress. She threw in some mascara and then brushed her teeth, finishing her look off with strawberry flavored chapstick.

 

Walking into the bedroom, Emily would've thought a tornado rolled through. Liam's shit was spread all over the floor, his clothing, more water bottles, candy wrappers. She wondered how this man wasn't six hundred pounds by now, he spends all his nights playing stupid games and eating, while she worked endless days and nights at the hospital to pay their bills, Liam used whatever money that's left to buy this stupid shit. Emily tried not to let her anger follow up through her chest, so she took a couple more deep breaths and grabbed her best outfit from the closet.

 

Emily dressed herself in a long black pencil skirt that sat tightly above her knees. Next, followed a black turtleneck sweater. The collar swooped around her neck, not like those uncomfortable, strangly things, or so Sera calls them. Then her white coat followed, her name monogrammed in cursive written across her left breast. Emily wasn't one for heels so she wore ballet flats, of course, black. She was a firm believer that one could not own too much black clothing, as it matches with almost anything... Unless you're someone like her who has mismatched black clothing.

 

She grabbed herself a premade coffee from her fridge, caramel flavored from Starbucks, it was her one true weakness. Of course, after her little brother, Adam.

 

······

 

"Name?" A snotty blonde haired woman asked from behind a tall white desk.

 

"Dr. Trevelyan, ma'am." Emily responded coldly.

 

"Dr. Pentaghast is expecting you, please make your way to the fifth floor." The woman waved her hand to the elevator. "Enjoy your day."

 

Emily nearly rolled her eyes at the girl. Of course, her demeanor changed when she realized she was actually there for an appointment. She's only been to this area of the hospital a few times before, but that was just to transport a patient to and from. She entered the elevator and clicked the 5 for the fifth floor, then turned around to watch the glass contraption fly her up through the different levels. She sipped out of her glass bottle, savoring the sweet flavor of caramel on her tongue.

 

Once the elevator dinged, she strode off into the hallway before her. She read the sign that would point her in the right direction.

 

As she neared the lobby for "Crisis," she heard shouting and it got louder and louder as she grew closer down the long hall. Of course, these kinds of things were normal since the crisis center was full of people recovering from drugs, alcohol, anything really. But that wasn't what Emily is interested in, lyrium was her main area of study anyway. Emily heard a loud thud and even more yelling, nurses coming out of their offices to see what was going on.

 

She quickened her strides and finally entered the lounge area, where she met Dr. Pentaghast and a few security guards. They were holding a man down on the ground, face down, as he shouted at them. The scene unfolding before her terrified her to say the least but she examined the man on the floor, wondering what he was trying to accomplish. She was stunned to see such a large man being pinned to the marble floor, struggling actually. 

 

His skin was pale and flushed, bruises and scrapes all along his arms and legs. His hair was in golden ringlets, splayed out onto the floor as his cheek was pressed into the cold, marble floor. His hair was the color of golden rods, the color of the sun, so warm. His eyes met hers and she stared at him, sending a chill down her spine. Emily didn't understand what had happened just then but his piercing stare shot her right in the chest. It almost reminded her of the last time she felt that exact feeling, then she reminded herself how tragically it ended. 

 

 

"Help me!" He cried, his pleas striking her in her very soul and making her heart stop. His voice was a baritone song and it caused a shiver to ripple down her spine. 

 

She quickly ran over to them, trying to assess the situation. "Dr. Pentaghast! What is happening?"

 

"Good afternoon, Doctor. I would have met you in my office but this matter needed my attention for the moment." She began, nodding at Emily instead of shaking her hand. "This man is here for his lyrium addiction. He made the courageous decision to slowly take himself off of it and asked for our help, though it seems this week has been particularly rough. It seems he has relapsed."

 

"That is why you have this poor man on the floor?" Emily asked, eyes widened in shock. "What good will that do him?"

 

"Yes, unless you suggest something better?" She retorted.

 

Emily looked down at the poor man, he looks exhausted, rough would be an understatement. The man looked as if sleep evaded him for years, the dark circles under his eyes were deep and dark purple. His skin was ashen, dry, devoid of any TLC. She looked back up at the other doctor and asked "May I?"

 

"Go right ahead." She sighed, almost like she believed Emily couldn't help. 

 

The security guards released the man before her. He slowly pushed himself up off of the floor but barely enough. He didn't have the strength to move anymore, so he just sat on his knees, his head hanging low. The image of him almost resembled a man waiting for his last judgement before his own god. The image of the frail man before her made her heart ache once more, bringing back old memories. 

 

"Ser?" She asked, softly and kneeling down in front of him.

 

"Leave me here to die. They're just going to throw me on the streets." His baritone voice spoke, not even lifting his head. His sadness and despair clear in his speech. 

 

"I can help you, if you let me." Emily replied, trying to look at his face, he keeps his distance and kept turning his face away from her. 

 

"I am unsaveable. Do not waste your time." He responded, coldly.

 

Emily took a deep breath before reaching out for him. He sucked in a sharp breath as she gently touched his face. Emily held his cheek in her small palm, slowly pushing his head up to meet hers. The feeling of his skin beneath her fingertips was electric and warm, something Emily had never felt before. His blonde tanlges swung around the sides of his forehead, his eyes finally meeting hers. Now it was her turn to suck in a sharp breath.

 

_Makers breath, he's a beautiful man._

 

"What are you doing?" The other doctor protested. The guards beside them standing ready. 

 

"Sometimes a relapsing patient needs physical contact, eye contact, and someone who can soothe the pain." Emily replies, deeply looking into the man's eyes. "Not everything needs to be healed by heavy medications and physical force." 

 

"It hurts behind your eyes right?" She asks, tilting her head and half smiling at him as she touched the corner of his tired eyes.

 

"H-how did you-" he begins, his eyes widening at her guess.

  

 

"It's a sixth sense, kind of." She giggled, pulling her other hand up to reach for the other side of his face. He sucked in another tight breath at the contact of her skin, chills running over his skin now. 

 

Her fingertips met his temples and began to rub smooth circles. The man closed his eyes, chills ran up his spine, again. Then, Emily conjured up some of her magic, very little to be careful and pulled some ice into her tips. She closed her eyes and pressed into his skin a little harder until her fingers were completely covered in blue, her magic running throughout his nerves. She imagined the human nervous system and imagined her ice traveling along the many paths of nerves behind his eyes and towards his brain.

 

Once she found the sweet spot, her magic turned to warmth. Switching from hot to cold very gently would help soothe the symptoms he was feeling, in return, he let out a long, deep sigh. Then in an instant she sent a small jolt of electricity through his nerves, making him jump slightly before he opened his eyes. They were no longer red and bloodshot, tear stained. He looked as if a million pounds were lifted from his heavy shoulders. The look of disbelief and shock was prominent on everyone's face in that moment. 

 

She smiled and pulled her fingers away from him and rested her hands on his shoulders, meeting his eyes. The physical contact he had been so deprived of, made him feel weird but good. 

 

"Maker's Breath... How did you?" He asks, his eyes wide in shock, color returning to his pale face.

 

"A little trick I picked up from working with symptoms like yours. Did it help?" She asked, craning her neck to get a better look at the handsome man. His color was starting to come back to him. 

 

"It pushed the straining away, but for how long? What happens when it comes back?" Dr. Pentaghast asked, clearly shocked and confused.

 

"He will most likely need to come back in later tonight or early morning tomorrow. This kind of treatment needs to be done atleast two to three times a day, if not four depends on the patient." Emily answered, standing to her feet and holding her hand out to the man on the ground.

 

He looked up with an unreadable expression on his face. He slowly took Emily's hand and she helped him back onto his feet, him nearly stumbling. Emily gripped his biceps, nearly choking at the size, but she had to help him stand. His grip on her was strong but he was grateful, she could tell by looking into his eyes. Something was there that wasn't there before, so she smiled.

 

"Thank you... Uh?" He asks.

 

"Dr. Trevelyan, ser." She smiled.

 

"I would like to come back in tomorrow morning, may I be seen by you?" He asks, desperately, his hold on her still strong and his eyes piercing hers. 

 

Emily turns to the other doctor behind her. Her eyes pleading to help the poor man, there was no way she couldn't help him. 

 

"We will discuss it in our meeting this evening, then I will call you later Mr. Rutherford." Dr. Pentaghast answers.

 

"I am sorry for my actions, thank you for helping me, Doctor." He slightly smiles, taking Emily's hand in both of his and gently gripping them. His expression was unreadable again as his eyes glazed over Emily's little hands. Once that was over, he made his way down the stairs.

 

"Productive day, if I say so." Dr. Pentaghast laughs, before ushering Emily to her office.

 

······

 

"So, Emily, are you aware of why I asked for you?" Dr. Pentaghast asked, placing her paperwork from the day into a drawer in her desk.

 

"I am not, Doctor." Emily replied, sitting nervously in the large leather chair.

 

"You may call me Cassandra." She smiled, resting her hands on the desk and then clasping them together.

 

"Cassandra." Emily nodded, crossing her legs.

 

"First I would like to extend my apologies to you. I became aware as of this morning, that one of your patients succumbed to his addiction yesterday evening. I had heard many things but I do understand Mr. Blake was special to you." She begins. 

 

"Thank you, Doctor. I uh, I'm still grieving but if it is possible can we keep this confidential? My situation at home would become much worse if a certain someone would here of it." Emily sighs. 

 

"One of the hardest parts of being a doctor is the realization that we cannot save every person. Your secrets are safe with me and I hope that if you have any issues at home, you would tell me." Cassandra adds. 

 

"Thank you." Emily manages to stutter out, the pain prickling at the base of her skull. 

 

"What happened earlier, you handled it very well." Cassandra praises.

 

"T-thank you." She stutters, nearly slapping herself.

 

"You handled it better than most of my seasoned employees, Emily. I had been told of your healing touch and your gracious ways but seeing it in person was an entirely different experience." Cassandra began. "I need people like you."

 

"Seriously? I only just gave him the care I wish anyone else would give my own family." Emily replied, shocked.

 

"As would I." Cassandra says. "I know this would be quite a change for you but I would very much like to make you part of my team."

 

"Are you serious?" Emily asks, her mouth hanging open.

 

"I believe you would be a valuable asset. I know you are more used to Haven's smaller clinic but Skyhold General Hospital would benefit greatly from your expertise." Cassandra smiles.

 

"I would love to! It's closer to my home and I have only dreamt of the day where I'd get to work here." Emily says, starstruck.

 

"It would also be a significant pay raise but the only downside is that your time and energy is highly required. I know you are married and I do not wish to strain your marriage." Cassandra suggests.

 

"Trust me, things are beyond fixing at this point." Emily sighs. "Let's be real, what isn't strained?"

 

"I am sorry to hear that, Emily. Other than that, what do you say? Are we a good match?" Cassandra asks, leaning forward at her desk.

 

"A perfect fit." Emily smiles happily.


	2. Two:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is a wonderful thing! Please let me know how you think I'm doing and if there's anything you'd like to see, within reason, put it in the comments!
> 
> Thank you for the kudos so far, it means a lot! <3 :)

**Consumed: Two**

 

······

 

The next morning came fast. Emily woke in her bed this time, alone. She rolled over to see the empty side of the bed where Liam would sleep and raised her eyebrows in confusion. Liam was always asleep, it's first light, he was always sleeping when she woke up for work. She rolled back over onto her side and then pulled the blankets off to get out of the bed.

 

Emily cursed under her breath when she stepped on the controller for their game console. She heard a small snap and nearly lost her mind, already, it's too early for this. She rolled her eyes and put the controller back onto the charger, since it didn't appear to be broken of any sorts. She shuffled into the bathroom to quickly fix her hair and do her make up.

 

"Why am I even doing this?" She asks herself, thinking of the patient she was too excited to see this morning.

 

Mr. Rutherford was his name, full name was Cullen Stanton Rutherford. He is thirty years of age, about six feet tall, and 200 pounds. Of course, that was normal for a man his height and muscle size, it seemed like he was purely made of it. Emily's cheeks blushed at the reminder of how girthy his biceps were when she caught him yesterday.

 

Cassandra made sure to brief Emily on his specific situation. He was in Kirkwall when the Chantry exploded, he personally knew the Hero of Fereldan, the woman Emily admired in every way possible. Although his list of experiences seemed to be reputable and exciting, his experience in both places was the least exciting. Cassandra went into depth about the demons and about Cullen watching his friends die in front of him, how his experience with mages hasn't always been so great, and how remarkable it was to see Cullen interact the way he did with Emily.

 

"It's not like I'm anything special.." Emily thought to herself.

 

Cassandra made it clear that Cullen would not be her only patient but she would spend the majority of the time studying him, testing with him, and applying any research she found to him. Emily was occasionally upset with the words Cassandra used, she believes that patients aren't test subjects and they should be treated as humans regardless of how sick they are. Of course, she understands where Cassandra is coming from and did not dispute her words.

 

Today, Emily put her raven tresses into a long braid and it hung between her shoulder blades. Her shirt was a lilac color, the neck scooping just under her collarbones. Her pants were a black, tight fitting leg, creased down the middle. Again, she stuck with the same old black ballet flats, they were her go to shoes for anything. That was followed by her lab coat, naturally. Her morning routine was the same, grabbing her coffee from her fridge. She did examine the house and she noticed it was somewhat cleaner than the night before, it made her a little happier this morning. She hoped by the time she got home that it would be totally clean and she wouldn't have to pick anything up, was that wishful thinking?

 

·····

 

"Good morning, Doctor." The familiar blonde face from the desk greets. Emily smiled and nodded, making her way to the elevator.

 

She reached the fifth floor for her second day of work, her folders in her arm and a smile on her face to start the day. She would get to see her office for the first time today, her very own office. This job was turning out to be everything she ever had dreamed of, piece by piece. She nearly ran to her office, her excitement rubbing off on her soon to be subordinates, her smiles returned with smiles.

 

Emily unlocked the door and was taken back by what she saw. There were bouquets of flowers sitting on her desk already, cards sitting upright, and picture frames to finish it off. As she neared her desk she noticed most of her awards were framed and neatly placed on the wall, a sight that made her nearly tear up. Her college degrees nearly propped up on the top part of her dark, wooden desk. A computer sat in the corner of the room, a small fridge behind a cabinet door and a purple swivel chair. Emily was stunned by the kindness of her new boss and the atmosphere of her first office.

 

She sat in her new chair to read the notes on the flowers first.

 

_"To one of the finest mages I've worked with in my time. Enjoy your new endeavor. - Solas."_

 

_"I'm gonna miss ya, kid. Keep in touch will ya? -VT"_

 

_"Don't forget to throw away those ugly sweaters, kay? - Sera, PS. Me and Harding will have to come visit ya sometime soon!"_

 

Emily smiled at the funny and heartwarming notes from each set of flowers. Then she checked the cards next to the flowers.

 

_"My dearest Emily,_

 

_Words cannot express my pride for you, you have accomplished so much in your short career. I am grateful to have spent most of my time with someone as kind and intelligent as you._

 

_I will miss your witty remarks and handling of Varric. Please find yourself happiness my dear, you deserve the world._

 

_Always,  
Vivienne."_

 

_"Mrs. Lavigne/Trevelyan,_

 

_I congratulate you on your next big step in your career, I hope it is as good to you as you were to us._

 

_Sincerely,  
Thom."_

 

Emily cringed seeing her legitimate last name. Of course, Trevelyan was still on everything she filled out or did in her life, since she accomplished everything under that name. Thom was a respectable man so naturally, he would write it the way he did. He was not fond of Liam, Thom was like her work dad. He always looked out for her and made sure her basic needs were met, she trained under him.

 

Emily signed into her computer and pulled up her emails, of course, more congratulations from other co workers and friends from Haven.

 

She turned around to her desk and read through her appointments for the day. Nothing too exciting was happening, today she would spend the remainder of her day with Cullen. That thought made her heart skip a beat, just enough for her to notice. Emily shook her head and closed her eyes, "not the time nor the place, Em." Emily would remain professional even if it were going to be hard to, she is married and until she changed that, that's how it would be.

 

It was nearly 8:30 am so she made her way towards the Crisis lobby and met with the receptionist.

 

"Good morning, I'm Dr. Trevelyan." Emily smiled, holding her hand out to the nurse and receptionist at the desk.

 

"Mornin' Doc, m'names Threnn." The older woman replied, shaking Emily's hand. "This 'eres Cole, my trainee."

 

"It's nice to meet you both." Emily says, trying to examine the small framed boy sitting before her.

 

"Cold, shameful, how do I run free?" Cole whispers just loud enough for Emily to hear. The statement nearly made her choke on her coffee, she looked down at him, meeting his eyes.

 

"He does that." Threnn replies, "He's special."

 

"I-I see, uhm-"

 

"He is here, he's sitting in the corner." Cole answered her question. She was going to ask if Cullen was here for his appointment, yet Cole had read her mind.

 

"That's a very special thing you have, Cole." Emily smiled, looking into his eyes sweetly.

 

"Thank you, Lady Trevelyan." Cole managed to speak.

 

"That's my mother's title, just call me Emily, okay?" She asked, nearly shuddering at the sound of her old title.

 

"Okay." Cole responded.

 

Emily said her goodbyes before giving them both a nod and exiting out into the lobby.

 

"Mr. Rutherford?" She called out, holding her clipboard in her arms.

 

No answer.

 

"Mr. Rutherford?" She asked again, raising a brow.

 

No answer.

 

Emily made her way over to the man with his dark grey hoodie shading his head and eyes. No wonder he didn't answer, he had his earphones in. Emily reached for his knee to tap it gently but he had other plans. Cullen instinctively grabbed her wrist and held it in place before he could peer out under his hood.

 

"Andraste's tits, forgive me.." He swore to himself before throwing his hood off to look at Emily.

 

"I-it's okay, I shouldn't have startled you." Emily whispered.

 

"No, no, don't blame yourself. It is my fault, it is quite the reflex isn't it?" He darkly chuckled.

 

"Quite so.." Emily responded, her eyes moving from his honey colors down to his hand that still tightly held her wrist.

 

"Maker, just kill me now." Cullen nearly slapped himself.

 

"That wouldn't do much good would it?" Emily half smiled, standing straight up.

 

"I don't see why my life would make a difference." He coldly replied, putting his hands in his hoodie front pocket as they walked together.

 

"Every life has a purpose, Mr. Rutherford. Do not discount your place in life, the Maker gave us all a reason to live. It is our duty to live it to the fullest, no?" Emily answered, her Andrastian reply clearly shocking Cullen.

 

"You are faithful?" He asks, nervously.

 

"As faithful as I can be, yes." She smiled, leading him to her office.

 

"That is.. comforting." Cullen responded, a smile nearly forming on his lips.

 

"Are you?" She asks, unlocking her door and holding it open for him to walk in.

 

"Before you, m'lady." He protested, taking hold of the door for her. She smiled and nodded, walking into the room before him. "And yes, I am but as you said, in the best way that I can be."

 

"As a former Templar, I'd expect nothing less. Doing the Makers work n' such, quite valiant of you, ser." Emily sat in her chair at her desk, placing her clipboard down and taking a sip of her coffee. "Please make yourself comfortable. I have the chairs here or you can lay down on the lounge on the other side of the room."

 

"I'll take the chair for now, thank you." He sat across from her, sitting straight and holding his hands together. Her comment about his valiance made him squirm a tad. No one has ever said anything like that to him before, it was.. quite nice to be recognized for his work.

 

"Please, make yourself comfortable. I would hate for you to feel all professional and stiff here. My office is solely for you to unwind, I've been told you do not like the regular examination rooms." Emily says, remembering Cullen's paperwork.

 

Naturally, Cullen was shocked to hear her say that. Every doctor he's had so far always made him go to the regular rooms, "for their convenience" they said. He did not think that she would care enough to make him comfortable, let alone remember something so important.

 

"I am deeply appreciative, doctor." Cullen sheepishly replied.

 

"If you'd like, I have coffee or tea that I can prepare if it'll help you relax whenever you're here?" Emily asked, trying to feel him out.

 

"Ah, not today. Thank you, though." He replied, nearly blushing. It was strange to him that she was acting like his mother, asking if he was hungry or thirsty, a caring host of the sorts.

 

"Would you like to get right into things?" She asked, leaning her head on her hands, her elbows holding the weight on the desk.

 

"Yes, please." He replied, quietly.

 

"So, you've made quite the bold decision to completely remove Lyrium from your life. That is why you're here?" Emily asks, sitting back in her desk, crossing her legs.

 

"Yes, ma'am." He answers.

 

"Of course, Cassandra has been slowly lowering your dosages instead of cutting you cold turkey?" Emily asks.

 

"Yes, she has." Cullen replies, slightly relaxing more. She has taken the initiative to make him more comfortable and relaxed, so he should at least give her the respect she deserves and relax some more.

 

"Now... Your relapse yesterday. What happened exactly?" She asked.

 

"I am sure Cassandra has briefed you on that already." He scoffed, looking away.

 

"While that may be true, Mr. Rutherford, I would like to hear your side of the story." Emily retaliated.

 

"O-oh, I, uhm.. I am sorry. You did not deserve that attitude." Cullen apologized, rubbing his face with both of his hands.

 

"You are forgiven, it does not bother me that much." She smiles.

 

Cullen felt something in his chest just now when she smiled at him. Something about her was intriguing, exhilarating, and dangerous. She was his doctor, her career is solely sworn to give care to patients no matter the circumstances. She couldn't possibly give a rats ass about his condition, she just had to figure out how to fix it. Right?

 

"I uh, yes, I relapsed. I tried calling Dr. Pentaghast earlier that morning but I'm sure she was sleeping, she gave me her personal number in case I had any emergencies.." Cullen begins. "I left her a few voicemails but she had been busy with another patient, I guess. I honestly don't know what happened, I just blacked out and lost myself to the pain. You know?" He asks.

 

"I do, truly. Pain is.. pain is a part of life unfortunately but I don't discount your feelings on the matter, either." Emily begins. "One of my favorite quotes about pain is, 'Thats the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.' That comes from John Green, have you ever read his books?"

 

"I cannot say that I have." Cullen says, taken back by her sudden wisdom. He liked that she included her personal life with her talk with him. It made her more.. relatable.

 

"He has many great reads, if you ever find yourself in need of a hobby, do let me know. I could lend you a few of my favorites." She smiled kindly at him.

 

"Thank you, doctor." He kind of smiled.

 

"I understand that you were experiencing quite the headache then, hence the blacking out?" She asked, tilting her head to get a better look at him.

 

Cullen was wearing a dark gray hoodie, black Nike joggers and a pair of running sneakers. Emily admired the build of the man sitting in front of her, such thick and strong thighs. She had to mentally slap herself for that one, she could not let herself look at those areas anymore or else she'd burst into flames.

 

"It's not just the headaches." Cullen adds. "It is the constant nausea, sweats hot and cold, insomnia, and lack of appetite."

 

"Alright. Is there one thing you'd like to work on first? Unfortunately, we can't focus on more than one thing or else your brain will be overwhelmed." Emily suggests.

 

"If I had to pick one, I'd like the nausea to stop. I can't drive my car anymore because I throw up too many times a day, so I run everywhere I go." Cullen replies, crossing his arms.

 

"I am sorry to hear that. I do have some good news, the nausea and lack of appetite go hand in hand so I believe we can kill two birds with one stone here. Would that be alright with you?" Emily asks, her smile wide on her pale face.

 

"Yes, that would be wonderful. If I could eat an actual meal, I think that would help immensely." He smiled back, leaning forward. He didn't think she would understand him, like the other doctors before her. That was rude of him, assuming she wouldn't be able to help him although, that's all he's been through lately. He decided he'd give her a chance, it seemed that she would devote herself to this, seems like the person she is.

 

"Awesome, Mr. Rutherford. Do you mind medicine or would you rather you do something natural?" She asks.

 

"I don't mind medications, no. I'll be willing to do whatever helps the fastest." He hastily accepts.

 

"Alright, I will write a script to the pharmacy and have them get that ready for you before you leave me today." She replied, writing a few things down on her papers.

 

Cullen took note of her hand writing, it was neater than most doctors writing that he's seen. She wrote in cursive, too, her lettering was intricately taken care of and neatly presented on the paper before her. His eyes roamed her desk to see flowers and cards, he wondered if they were from her friends. He did hear this was her second day working here, figures, he'd never seen her here before. He found the nameplate on her desk, it read _**"Emily E. Trevelyan."**_

 

Cullen remembered that the Trevelyan family was a noble one, a rich one, too. No wonder she was able to afford such an expensive career, he thought to himself. Then again, he does not know her so he cannot make those assumptions. Although, it does make up for her royal presentation of herself and beautiful handwriting. He wondered what she was doing here, it seemed a bit far from where her family reigns is it not?

 

His eyes continued to roam around her desk, noticing it was still quite barren since she was new to this room. He watched her continue writing and examined her small fingers, skinny, too. That is when he noticed the dainty, silverite band upon her ring finger. Ah, makes sense. A woman of her statute would surely be married, especially at her age, though she does look young.

 

"Let's start with you telling me a few things about yourself?" Emily asks, looking back up at him.

 

"Uh, sure. What do you want to know?" He asks, unable to tear his eyes from her left hand.

 

"Hm, how about we start out where you grew up, your family, your career, etc?" She asks.

 

"Alright." Cullen begins.

 

····

  
"And that's just about it, Doctor." Cullen finishes.

 

"Thank you for being so open with me about everything. I feel that I've learned quite a bit about you." Emily smiled, letting out a deep breath as they've been talking for a few hours now. Cullen liked talking to her, she had a nurturing atmosphere about her.

 

"I believe you knowing everything I've told you will help you with your job, I'm not one to make things insanely difficult." Cullen answers, leaning back in his chair.

 

"I, uh, I appreciate that, Mr. Rutherford." Emily stammers, her cheeks a hue of pink. "Let's discuss your schedule with me?"

 

"Ah, yes." He says.

 

"I'd like to see you at least once a day, Monday through Friday. Before you leave here today, I'd like to give you that treatment from yesterday to keep your headaches at bay. What does your work schedule look like?" She asks.

 

"It's nothing I can't work around. My job is nothing really to boast about." Cullen says, a sigh coming from his lips.

 

"Where do you work?" She asks.

 

"A music store, you know, selling records and instruments amongst other things. I, uh, sometimes I teach people how to play piano and guitar." He blushes.

 

"That's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. I've always wanted to learn piano, it was one of the few instruments my privileged childhood didn't see." Emily giggles.

 

 _Makers breath_ , her laugh was like music to his ears.

 

"Well maybe when I get better, I could teach you?" He asks before even thinking about how he just crossed the line.

 

"I'd love to, it would be a great thing to add to your therapy. Plus, that means I get to see more of my already favorite patient." She smiled, shifting in her seat. Emily nearly facepalmed herself.

 

_Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT._

 

"I think that would be lovely." Cullen smiled. Spending more time with this woman could be beneficial to him. "Is there anything else I can help you with?" Cullen asked, trying to be as helpful as possible.

 

"Would you like to go down to the cafeteria and eat? Since you are my patient you'll be receiving free meals whenever you're here with me." Emily says, grabbing her purse and standing from her desk.

 

"Really? Are you sure? I can pay for myself." He wondered.

 

"Don't worry, it's not coming out of my paycheck. It is something of a gift from Cassandra and I." She smiled wholesomely.

 

"I am grateful for your kindness." Cullen answers, following her out the door to make their way to the cafeteria.

 

Even though she was married, Cullen couldn't help but wonder. He had felt a warmth in his chest that he has not felt in almost ten years, it was quite remarkable. The thought of him teaching her how to paino consumed his brain, he could only imagine what it would feel like to wrap his arms around her-to touch her fingers with his.  Of course, she is his doctor so he needed to remind himself of those things. _Married._ _Doctor._


	3. Three:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for not updating lately, there's been A LOT going on in my personal life and it's been hard thinking of anything. 
> 
> Thanks for the support❤️

~~~~ **Three:**

 

It had been three weeks since Emily began treating Cullen for his Lyrium addiction. The last few days of his appointments had been rough to say the least, his sleeping schedule was screwed up due to a sleep study at the hospital. Cullen was frustrated that he couldn't find his rhythm to fall asleep at night therefore, he starting to feel a stronger pull towards the Lyrium. 

 

Even though things got a little patchy in some spots, Cullen enjoyed spending his time with his doctor. Dr. Trevelyan was the first doctor to make him feel like he wasn't crazy or make him feel like he was abandoning the Maker. Most hospitals near Kirkwall were overly religious when it came to treating their patients. The first three doctors he went to see all disregarded his problems and told him to return to the order "at once" before he Maker made his wrath known. Now that he has someone who believes in him, he didn't know what to do with it. It's a feeling he isn't used to. 

 

Dr. Trevelyan decided he could come see her less frequently since he showed promising signs of feeling better. Instead of a once a day appointment, he could now visit two days a week. Emily was very happy with the results Cullen was wielding, he was proving to look and feel better as the days went on. 

 

······

 

Emily breathed in then out, setting her coffee down onto her desk. She rubbed her fingers gently against the sides of her forehead, it felt like her skull was splitting in half. Her eyes scanned the documents in front of her and another sigh left her lips. She had just spent the last 45 minutes running and searching around the entire building for Cullen and he was nowhere to be found. Her feeling worried was an understatement. At this point in rehabilitation, it was normal and expected for patients to relapse at least once or twice before getting back into the swing of normal living. Cullen was doing great so far and Emily feared the worst. 

 

"What is he doing?" She breathed through her teeth before calling to Dr. Pentaghast. 

 

After about six rings or so, Cassandra picked up her office phone. " _Dr. Pentaghast."_  

 

_"Hey, it's Emily." Emily replied, sounding breathless._

 

_"Is something wrong? Why are you out of breath?" Cass asks._

 

_"Did Mr. Rutherford come in for your appointment today?" Emily asked, nervously chewing on her lip._

 

_"He has not, I assumed his appointment with you was taking longer than expected... Why?" She asks, pausing before asking why._

 

_"He has not shown for our appointment, either and I am a bit worried." She begins. "Do you think he'd relapse again so fast already?"_

 

_"It is hard to predict with that man. Have you tried to call him?" Cass asks._

 

_"I-I have not. I don't have any of his contact information, he did not write it down on our paperwork." Emily sighed, feeling dumber than ever._

 

_"I will text it to you, give him a call and if he does not answer, call me back and we will continue from there." Cassandra suggested._

 

_"Thank you, doctor." Emily says, gratefully._

 

After hanging up the phone, her work cell phone screen lights up with the expected message from Cassandra. A part of her was insanely nervous, she wondered if he would even answer her. He would've left his contact details for her if he wanted her to call him, right? Right? She typed in the number into the keypad and stared at it. 

 

_Would he be upset with her for calling him?_

 

_What if he's sleeping?_

 

_What if he's on a date?_

 

An odd feeling crossed Emily's chest and filled her stomach at the last thought. Cullen didn't seem like the type to have time for dating with his current condition, right? It doesn't matter though, she's married and he is her patient. Even thinking of becoming part of his personal life was against her morals and very against her hospitals rules. Although, she did think about him while she was home alone. His existence brought many thoughts to Emily's mind at night. 

 

_Is he all alone?_  

 

_Does he have any family?_

 

_What happened to him in the Order?_

 

_Why is he so heavily reliant on Lyrium? What did he have to endure without it before he came to get treatment?_

 

So many questions but those were things she would soon learn if he continues to stay her patient. Emily shook her thoughts from her head and hit the call icon before pulling the phone up to her ear. She could feel her heart pounding against the back of her ribcage and could feel her neck and ears growing warm. With each ring, her heart felt like it skipped another beat. _Ring, ring, ring, "Hey, you've reached Cullen Rutherford, I am busy right now so please leave a message. Thank you."_ The sweet timbre of Cullen's voice began to soothe and calm before the storm that was in Emily's chest and fluttered the wings of the butterflies in her stomach. His voice brought a smile to her lips but it did not shake her worry. 

 

"He should be here.." She spoke to herself. 

 

Again, she dialed the number and began to call him. A few more rings went by and again, Emily began chewing on her bottom lip, a nervous habit she wished she could break. The ringing stopped and there was a long silence, she was unsure if she had lost connection or if he had answered. 

 

_"Hello?" Cullen's voice answered, groggy and raspy._

_"Mr. Rutherford, it's Dr. Trevelyan." Emily breathed, slowly. Her relief in hearing his voice was prominent._

_There was a rustling noise, a quiet curse, and then a huff of air on the other side before Cullen returned. "Makers balls, I am so sorry. I missed yours and Cassandra's appointment."_

_"I-is everything all right?" Emily asked, nervously._

_"Yes, I, forgive me. I was asleep. This is the longest I've slept since the last reduction of my Lyrium supply." Cullen sighed._

_"I understand, did you forget to set an alarm?" She asks._

_"I did. I've just began the sleep supplement that you had made for me and I didn't think I would fall asleep so quickly, nor did I think I would sleep soundly throughout the night." He replied._

_"Oh! I am so happy that it works for you! You didn't have any unwelcome side effects, did you? I was worried it would stir up more problems than it would help you." Emily beams._

_"It worked marvelously, doctor. I am grateful you worked so diligently to help me." Cullen chuckled lightly._

_"It was no problem, it isn't like I had anything else to do. My personal life is rather boring so I like to immerse myself in my work to give the best treatment possible to my patients. It makes me incredibly happy to be able to help you sleep, I was nervous it would not work for you since you kn-" Emily sighed and continued. "Forgive me, I'm rambling."_

_"No need to worry, I rather like listening to your voice, it's calming." He responds, earning a heated blush on Emily's face that she was thankful he couldn't see._

_"I- I see. I am happy to help." She says, holding her hand over her heart to feel it's constant drumming._

_"If you would like, I can still come in to see you. I feel awful for missing our appointment." Cullen asks. "I mean, if you don't have any more patients." She could practically see Cullen rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. It was something she noticed when he got flustered or awkward in a conversation._

_"I can always reschedule the rest of my appointments for today, they are only check-ups." Emily suggests, her long lashes fluttering as she looks down at her calendar._

_"I don't want to monopolize your time, doctor, please help your other patients. Do not worry about me." He protested._

_"You could let me worry about you a little." Emily slipped out before thinking first. In her mind she was cursing Andraste for giving her the false confidence just then._

_"I, uh, I suppose it wouldn't be that awful being the only one you spend your time with.." Cullen trailed off._

_"Then I will see you soon?" She asked, not believing the conversation they are having._

_"It's a date, then." He breathed. "Makers Breath, I am so sorry. I uhm, I meant, uh, an appointment. I am not very good at phone calls."_

_"I will see you soon, Mr. Rutherford."_ Emily smiled to herself before they ended their conversation and ended the call. Emily could still feel the deep heat creeping up her neck to her forehead. There was something about that man that made her weak and that scared her a bit. 

 

She sighed happily, feeling like a teenager again. She picked up her office phone and called Cassandra back to let her know she got ahold of Cullen. 

 

······

 

Emily had been patiently waiting for Cullen to come in when her personal phone began to go off. The familiar, annoying ring tone broke her from her happy thoughts and almost immediately her mood was changed. Of course, it couldn't be anyone but her husband, Liam. She groaned before picking it up. "Hello?" 

 

_"Good afternoon, Emily." Liam's once soothing voice now replaced with an irritating one said._

_"Is there something you need, Liam?" Emily asked, her tone clearly off._

_"Are you busy at work?" He asks._

_"I am about to being seeing a patient so, yes." Emily replied curtly._

_"Oh, well, can I come visit you for lunch after they're gone?" He asks, sounding like he wants something._

_"You never want to come see me at work, what do you want?" She asks, raising her eyebrow._

_"N-nothing, I just uh, I wanted to see you." Liam replied, trying to sound honest._

_"Liam... This appointment might take until I leave here." Emily responded, trying to cut their conversation short, putting him on speaker so she could continue typing._

_"Why? You're just doing some therapy, right? Can't ya just like, I don't know, cancel?" Liam suggests, earning a loud scoff from his less than pleased wife._

_"No, Liam, I can't. Since I actually care about people and how my work helps people, I will not interrupt their session to have lunch with a rude husband. How could you even suggest that?" Emily begins. "You know how important my patients are to me."_

_"I'm your husband, Emily. I always should come first before anything." Liam retorted, his tone sounding annoyed._

_"Oh, is that right? If my husband always comes first, does that mean I should've came first before I caught you cheating with one of your fellow Templars? Hm?" Emily spits._

_"Do you always have to bring that up?! It was four years ago, Em! I haven't cheated on you since then." He yells._

_"Do you want a gold star? Oh! I know! How about a little golden plaque for best husband of the year? Am I supposed to be happy you've decided to be a semi-decent good person?" She laughs, annoyedly. "Get a grip, Liam."_

_"Come on, Em. I know you'll never forget it but can't you just forgive me?" He asks, his voice growing softer._

_"No, I cannot. Now, is this conversation finished?" Emily asks, checking her watch for the time._

_"Can you just let me finish?" Liam pleads._

_"What did you call me for?" She asks, rolling her eyes. She pulls herself from the computer to rub the sides of her head again, the splitting headache making its return._

_"Remember what you said a while ago, about having the divorce papers drawn up?" He asks, sheepishly._

_"Mhm." Emily responds._

_"What can I do to make you shred them?" He asks._

_"Absolutely nothing, Liam. I am waiting for your next royal fuck up so you can sign them and we can be over with." Emily sighs, her heart beginning to ache again._

_"What can I do to make you love me the way you did?" Liam pleads, sniffling._

 

The sound of Liam crying or fake crying drew Emily's anger higher and higher. Her head was pounding and she felt like her stomach was in knots again. She hated having this conversation with him but it has to be done every time he tries to change her mind. Of course, she remembered that these conversations didn't happen unless he fucked up already. Which means he most likely cheated on her again, making her stomach flip. 

 

_"Liam, the love I had for you was destroyed the day I walked in on you sending dick pics to the same woman you cheated with, two years ago." Emily seethes._

_"I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up." Liam adds, trying to manipulate Emily's feelings again. This was always his plan, to make her feel guilty for his problems. To make her feel the worst possible so she would come running back into bed with him. It wouldn't work this time, just like it hasn't the last four times they've had this discussion._

_"It's not my fault you can't keep your dick in your pants." Emily replied._

_"Em, you know I love you, why can't we make this work? Just start over?" He cried._

 

Emily could feel her hot tears slip down both her cheeks, her slender fingers coming up to wipe them away. He always did this, always. He always made her feel awful and always made her feel like the bad guy when it was his fault that she is the way that she is. Emily had grown cold to love, to any feelings, any passion she had in her body is nearly gone. He stole her innocence and he stole the years that she should have spent being herself and having fun. 

 

_"I am incapable of loving you anymore, Liam. End of discussion." She sighed, sucking in her shaky breath._

_"Emily pl-"_ Liam began before Emily cut him off by hanging up the phone. She rested her face in her hands, her eyes full of tears but her will to not let more fall over the idiot she is married to, is strong. She needed to be strong and cold, it was the only way she could continue in her life. 

 

Little did she know, that Cullen had just arrived for his appointment with her a few moments ago. He could hear every bit of that conversation between Emily and her husband outside her office. He didn't want to walk in and interrupt their conversation but the longer he stood there, the worse he felt. He could hear her sobbing at her desk and he felt conflicted. He wondered if he should go in and comfort her.

 

_Would that be wrong since she is his doctor?_  

 

_No, how could it be wrong?_  

 

_Dr. Trevelyan is a person, not just a doctor._  

 

_Cullen, she is a woman, too._  

 

Remembering that she is a woman above all else, made Cullen's chest tighten. There was no denying he could feel something flaring in his stomach, even if he was unsure of what. Then again, he could not pretend to be blind to a feeling he's not experienced for quite some time. 

 

He reached for the handle on the door and knocked a couple of times. He earned a "one moment, please!" Cullen figured it was because she was still crying and needed to clean up before making an appearance. He would undoubtedly grant her a moment of peace before seeing her, it was the right thing to do afterall. So, he patiently waited outside of her office until she was ready to see him. 

 

After a few minutes had passed, Dr. Trevelyan had opened the door and ushered him inside without lifting her head or looking at him. He walked in without a minute to waste and sat himself in front of her desk, in his usual spot. 

 

"I apologize for taking so long, I... was on the phone." His breathless doctor said, before sitting in front of him and lacing her fingers together on the desk. 

 

"No apologies necessary, doctor. Is everything okay?" He asked, trying to be vague about the conversation he had heard. 

 

"Yes, just some trying family matters, that's all. I am the doctor, though, do not worry much about me! I should be asking you that question." She half-smiled. 

 

Cullen took a hard look at her. Little hairs by her cheeks had been stuck to the sides of her face, clearly from her tears. She had smudged liner under her eyes, barely, though. She looked as if she had just ran a mile but he knew that wasn't the case. Then sad look in her beautiful eyes was what drew Cullen in more. He knew she was feeling lousy, which made him feel for her. Even more so knowing that she is married to such a horrible man. Learning he was a Templar made him feel even worse, would it be someone he knew years ago? 

 

"Cullen?" She asked, breaking him from his thoughts. 

 

"Forgive me, I've been lost in my thoughts. Are you sure you're all right?" He asks, raising a brow and sitting back in his chair. Hearing his name on her tongue did things to him, mostly just makes his heart flutter in his chest. The all too familiar feeling he knew was so wrong but so right. 

 

"I am sure, Mr. Rutherford." She tried to assure him. 

 

"Then I shall believe you for now." He sighed. 

 

"I promise there is nothing to worry about." His doctor smiled, her smile was made with just her mouth and not her eyes. 

 

"I believe I was told earlier, 'you can let me worry about you a little.' Am I wrong?" He asks, using Emily's words against her. 

 

"You should not have to worry about your doctor, it is unprofessional. I apologize if I gave you something to worry about." She begins. "What kind of doctor am I leaving my patients worrying about me?" 

 

"Dr. Trevelyan." Cullen says. 

 

"I mean, if you're worried that means my other patients are and that means that they're questioning my judgement." She continues, clearly frustrated with herself and her life. 

 

"Dr. Trevelyan?" He asks. 

 

"And that means I could lose my job, that just cannot happen. I am so sorry, Mr. Rutherford, I do not mean to be so scatterbrained today. I should not have let my personal matters come into my office, I-" 

 

"Emily!" Cullen raises his voice, breaking Emily from continuing her self-destructive monologue. He even took himself by surprise, he told himself he would never address her by her first name. 

 

Emily felt her heart nearly catch in the back of her throat hearing her name come from his mouth. Weeks ago, Cullen had told her to address him by name and she told him the same. Since they'd be spending most of their time together, they both figured it'd be best to feel comfortable with one another. Although, it was entirely different to hear him say her name for the first time since then. Her eyes were wide in surprise, she surely looked like a deer in headlights. 

 

"You are an amazing woman, you have created a ground breaking medicine for someone like me. Can you imagine how helpful this could be for people all throughout Thedas? I know it's not completely worked out but come on, what person goes above and beyond for the patients like this?" Cullen begins, his words stunning her. "Not only have you finally gotten me to fall asleep, you've helped me get back on track with my diet and have helped me feel significantly better since I first came here. Do you know how wonderful you are, woman?" 

 

"I-I, Cullen, that's-" Emily began. 

 

"Don't second guess yourself, you are incredibly talented and I am so grateful to be in your hands for care. I wouldn't have it any other way." Cullen adds. 

 

"I don't know what to say.." Emily breathed, a blush creeping up her face. She was completely taken back by his comments, no one has ever said that to her before. 

 

"Please tell me I am not the first person to say this?" He asks, concerned. 

 

"I hate to tell you that you're right." She sighed. 

 

"Then I shall tell you how amazing you are all the time. You even called to check in on me to make sure I wasn't dead this morning, right? I must've scared you and Cassandra." He replied, leaning forward in his chair. 

 

"I can't say that you didn't but I had faith." Emily says, chewing her lip. 

 

"Thank you for believing in me, doc." He replies, with a handsome smile on his face. 

 

"I should be telling you that, too. You decided to be seen by me so quickly and so openly, usually it takes more convincing. So, thank you." She smiles. 

 

"Anything for you, Emily." Cullen smiled again, his chest feeling warm. 


	4. Four:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How am I doing so far? It's so hard to tell if I'm moving too quick or too slow. 
> 
> Much love,  
> Sarah

**Chapter Four:**

 

 [If anyone wants to feel the mood I had when I was writing, listen to Sweet Creature by Harry Styles. It paints a perfect, sweet mood.] 

 

 

The weekend could not come any sooner, Emily rejoiced as she could actually feeling herself settle down. It had been a long week at the hospital, it was truly the week from hell. One patient on floor six overdosed on his medication because he was stashing the pills and took them all at once. Of course, that was the nurses fault for not checking his room properly. Emily detested people in ybr health care field if they were only there for money, without compassion. Then, she had a patient tell her today that she was being abused by her mother and Emily was forced to call Child Protective Services, since it is protocol. She didnt like removing the child from her family but unfortunately, that child had been showing signs of neglect for weeks, Emily only needed the girl to say the words to act. After all that, she still tried to keep a smile on her face for her favorite patient. 

 

_Cullen._

 

Mr. Rutherford is possibly one of the best patients she had ever worked with in her years of being in healthcare. He has such a good heart and a strong will, perfect things to help a man come over addiction. Emily admired him and has the utmost respect for that man, the more she learned, the more she thanked the Maker for bringing her such a person. 

 

_But._

 

Emily also couldn't help the way she was starting to feel. Whenever she was with him, she was the calmest she had been in years. The way he smiles with his eyes with the little wrinkles, the way his beautiful amber eyes would light up when he laughed, and - oh, Maker, that laugh was golden just like him. She loved when he would come in on their later days after he got out of work, his usually pinned back curls were always loose and dangling on his forehead. When he speaks to her, it reminds her of the finest symphonies she had ever heard. But most of all, he respects her and trusts her. Of all the men in her life, she has met very few who speak to her like an equal. Cullen always talks to her like she is a woman, not a child. 

 

Emily's feelings are dangerous, she knows this. If someone were to find out, 

 

_Oh_ , 

 

If her husband were ever to find out about the feelings residing deeply in her heart, she'd lose everything. 

 

_Her job._

_Her dreams._

_Her financial stability._

_And Cullen._

 

She would end up losing her entire life because of her frivolous infatuation with the ex- Templar. At best, Emily is a Trevelyan, kind of. She married Liam at such a young age, it was advantageous for both of their families. Liam, a strong, willing, soon to be Templar. Emily, a devout Andrastian, demure, and quiet. The two would carry on their families legacies and continue their noble  bloodline. Until, Emily decided to be a Doctor. Once she decided that she wasn't going to sit around as a sheepish little wife, her family denounced her. Another thing that her husband would use against her, how Emily "caused them to get cut off." 

 

The Saturday morning air wafted into her bedroom, spreading the curtains and sending a chill down her spine. Of course, Liam wasn't there, he never is anymore. 

 

"Probably screwing around with some cheap piece of meat." Emily hissed to herself as she pulled the window down. 

 

Emily plopped herself back down into her bed, pulling the covers over her shoulders and next to her cold ears. She unlocked her phone and decided to scroll through her social media page. After five minutes of looking, Emily let out a long sigh. All of her friends from high school seemed so happy, so in control of their lives. One girl she used to be really good friends with, Eliza, just had her first baby. Emily smiled at the photo of the newborn holding her mother's hand. Another used to be friend of hers just got married, something small and personal on a beach in Ostwick. Seemed like a family and friend wedding, candles, and so much romance. They all seemed to live such perfect lives, the perfect lie. 

 

There was a time that Emily dreamed of being a stay at home mother, so many children to fill her little home, with a man who loved her up and down. To the stars and back. 

 

There was a time when she dreamed of finding love so strong, that nothing could ever shake it. True love. 

 

Dreams were fleeting, though. She knew she has always wanted to help others since an early age. There was no time for romance or for fulfilled dreams, those were crazy things that people made up to make themselves feel better about their sad lives. Right? 

 

None of her dreams could ever come true. 

 

_Right_? 

 

Before she could finish thinking, a text message lit up her phone screen. Unfortunately, her hope of it being someone she liked was short lived. Of course, it was her husband. He had the decency to tell her not to "wait up" because he would be gone for a couple of days. Emily scoffed at his statement, wondering what grown man said stuff like that. She wondered if he secretly was a twelve year old. 

 

She rolled back over on her side, huffing and throwing her pillow over her face. The cool side of the pillow greeted her anger-stricken face with a cool welcome. Then Emily's phone vibrated again, making her roll her eyes as she reached to her stand to grab the phone. When she opened the message, she was puzzled. The message that read **_"Is this Emily Trevelyan?"_** was from a number she didnt recognize. Usually, she didnt give these kinds of thing the time of day but who knows, maybe it's the girl she knows her estranged husband is sleeping with. 

 

**_"This is her, who is asking?" She asked._ **

****

**_"This is Cullen, good morning." He replied._**  

 

Emily let out an excited squeak before almost throwing her phone across the room. This was a very unexpected surprise, making her face completely turn red. 

 

**_"Good morning to you as well. Is everything  okay?" She asks, hoping nothing is wrong._ **

****

**_"No, no! I'm okay, thank you." He answers_ **

****

**_"This is going to sound rude, but why are you texting me? Lol." She asks._ **

****

**_"Oh! Yes, I see why you would ask that. I woke this morning and was thinking of you, so I texted you on impulse. I can stop, if you'd like." He says._ **

****

**_"No! No, stay." She begs._ **

****

**_"As you wish, my lady." He replied, making Emily's heart crash against her chest._ **

****

**_"Tis' been a very long time since I've been called that, how bittersweet." She says._ **

 

_**"I am only addressing you by the proper formality." Cullen replied.** _

__

_**"Thank you, but you can call me Emily when we text." She says.** _

__

_**"Did you sleep well, Emily?" He asks, she remembers how he says her name and she shivers, bumps raising on her arms.** _

__

_**"I did, I always get a good night's sleep when I'm alone." She sends.** _

__

_**"Alone? Ah, forgive me. I keep forgetting that you are indeed married. Why isn't he there with you at nihht?" Cullen asks.** _

__

_**"You are forgiven, it is me who needs forgiving, I often forget that I'm married. My husband has decided that he's going on a little vacation." She replied, her tone probably sounding bitter.** _

__

_**"That is quite awful and it sounds terribly lonely, I am sorry you have to deal with such behavior." He says.** _

__

_**"I am lonely, honestly." Emily sends, sighing at her admittance.** _

__

_**"Emily, how long has it been that bad?" He asks, she can almost hear the disapproval in his voice.** _

__

_**"Longer than I should admit." She sends back.** _

__

_**A few minutes pass by, creating a little bit of anxiety in Emily's mind. Was it possible that he didnt want to listen to her problems? She smiled to herself when her phone buzzed with Cullen's name.** _

__

_**"I hope I am not crossing any lines by asking but, would you like to get some lunch with me? You have been giving me free lunch for as long as I've been seen at the hospital, I'd like to return the favor." Cullen asks, daringly.** _

__

_**Emily could feel her stomach and heart doing a little dance in tandem. He wants to have lunch with her? Have lunch with her without being at the hospital? He actually wants to spend time with her? Strange.** _

__

_**"No lines crossed whatsoever. It has been a long while since I've gone out to town, I'd love to go!" She smiles.** _

__

_**"Meet me at the little shop by the movie theater at maybe one? :)" Cullen replied, clearly happy at her approval.** _

__

_**"I will see you then, Cullen. :)" Emily sends back before throwing herself back onto her bed, turning into a giddy mess.** _

 

••••••

 

Emily could barely hold in her excitement, it had been too long since she was asked to go out. She never got to dress out of her work uniform and go out into the world since she got married. The more of life she experiences without Liam holding her down, she realizes how much time she spent locked up. 

 

She had dressed herself casually and quickly, keeping her hair in the slightly straight but curly waves, it was too much to tame at the moment. Dressed in a dark washed pair of skinny jeans, a long black and fluffy sweater, and a black and white patterned scarf, she made her way through town. 

 

It was almost like she was experiencing a first date moment. The heart pounding, sweaty hands, and shaky breathing, were all too familiar to Emily. She was excited, though but she knew she shouldn't be. Cullen probably just needs her around because shes his doctor, right? They know quite a bit about one another so it makes things easier, makes her easier to be around. 

 

Emily bit back her self doubt and took a sharp breath in before pulling into a parking spot and turning off her car. She took another deep breath in and grabbed her purse and keys, opening her door then locking it. She had to repeat to herself, "one foot in front of the other." 

 

Once she reached the entrance she made note of how cozy the place was. The brick outside was a warm red-brown and the windows and doors were painted with a bright white color. The door had a little sign that could be flipped between closed and open and white curtains behind the door. She opened the door and a little bell rang out, signaling her entrance as her eyes scanned the area. 

 

It took Emily a few minutes to get familiar with the coffee shop she was in. There were actually quite a few people here and it took her another moment that there is a second floor. She looked around the corner to find the stairs, carefully walking up the metal steps. She was grateful she dressed casually today because her heels would have gotten stuck in the grates of the steps, nearly making her stomach turn at the thought of breaking herself. Once she reached the top, she found couches, a few bookcases and computer desks, then the heavenly sight himself. 

 

Cullen. 

 

He sat quietly, reading a book. His hair was slicked back like usual but he had on left stand of hair curled at his forehead. The image of Clark Kent passed through Emily's mind before stifling a giggle. His head rested on his fist that was resting on the arm of the couch. He sat with his back erect and with one leg over the other, his dark brown shoes shining in the light. He wore a maroon red sweater with a white shirt showing through the V of his shirt. His jeans were dark washed, like hers, with a slight distressed hint to it. He also was wearing glasses, something Emily had no idea that he owned nor wore when he read. 

 

Emily could feel herself staring but it was like she was staring at an image granted to her by the Maker himself. How could anyone not stare at the perfect man sitting before her? He looked like a damned painting! Before anyone could catch her, she pulled out her phone and took a picture of him. The light shining perfectly onto his honey hair, slightly reflecting off his glasses. She smiled at the photo she took before putting it into the message bar with the words, " _ **I see the mysterious man reads Jane Austen? How quaint."**_

 

She hid behind the bookcase when she noticed that Cullen read his message from her. A smile spread across his face before looking up to search around the room for her. His face turned confused when he noticed she wasn't where he thought she was. She quietly giggled to herself before taking another photo and putting in another message. _**"Gotta look harder than that, Mr. Rutherford!"**_

 

Emily tucked herself behind a wall of plants by the bookcase she was just at, smiling devilishly to herself. She opened the new message and it read _ **, "Playing hide and seek are we?"**_

 

She watched as Cullen searched around the aisles she was just in, giggling to herself. She looked around to find another corner to hide herself in, this time it was behind the computer desks with the privacy walls built into them. _ **"I rather love a good game, don't you?"**_

 

Again, she peered over the desk and watched as Cullen paced around the room looking for her. He had a playful look on his face but she noticed something else about his expression, too but couldn't quite get it. A new message appeared and it said, **_"Come out, come out, little minx. I will find you eventually!"_**

 

Emily stayed where she was since it didnt look like Cullen was going to find that spot. So she texted him back again, _ **"Come find me, then! I am waiting."**_

 

He stopped for a moment and pulled his phone out, typing something. Nearly a second later, Emily's phone vibrated with this message, _**"What do I win if I find you?"**_  

 

Emily sneakily crept to the other side of the room to the bookcase on the other side of the room before responding, _**"What do you want to win, young knight?"**_ She giggled at her Templar reference in her text message to him. She could no longer spy on Cullen so she hid where she was, waiting for a reply.

 

Her phone vibrated once more, making her heart stutter. She opened the message and read it as her face flushed with a bright pink. _**"How about a kiss from the fair maiden? ;)"**_

 

Before Emily could even reply, strong hands gripped her biceps, gently squeezing. She jumped, almost dropping her phone before turning around and squealing. She had been captured, Cullen had found her and he was all too quiet doing so. "Gotcha!" He smiled, still holding her slender arms in his large hands, looking down at her through his lenses. 

 

"You scared me, Mr. Rutherford." She played. 

 

"I am so very sorry, My Lady." He smiled, crookedly, drawing closer to her as she inched back towards the bookcase. 

 

"Are you now? What if I had screamed from the startle?" She replied, raising a brow. 

 

 Emily's back had bumped against the bookcase behind her, leaving her no more room to step back. She could feel her hot blush creeping up her neck and she was silently praying it wouldn't overtake her face. Cullen drew closer and closer, his hands tracing down her arms to take her hands in his, bringing them up to their chests. 

 

"If you had screamed, I would have laughed. So, Miss. Trevelyan, I believe I found you. Do I get my reward?" He smirks, his breath nearly on her lips as he towered over her. 

 

Emily felt like the whole world was stopped, only for them to enjoy. Everything about this moment made her brain scream no but her heart was protesting against it. She wanted to live her life, love her life, experience what she couldn't before. 

 

"I, I am a Lady of my word. You may have your reward, Cullen." She looked into his eyes through her dark lashes. Something sparked inside of Cullen in that moment, she saw it in his honeycomb eyes. 

 

Cullen had brought both of her hands up to his face, gently tracing her knuckles with his thumbs before leaning down to kiss each of them tenderly. Emily felt her whole body still, she was expecting something entirely different but she wasn't disappointed. Cullen's lips danced gingerly across each knuckles before looking up through his glasses and smiling. 

 

"Twas' not what I thought you meant but I do not know what to say." Emily breathlessly said. 

 

"I am going to kiss you, I am going to do it in the right moment." He smiled, kissing the palm of her hand. 

 

"A-and when will that be?" She asks, impatiently. 

 

"When the moment comes, you will know. Trust me." Cullen chuckles lightly. "Shall we get some coffee then?" 

 

"Mm, yes." She replied, unknowing where that man just came from. 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Five:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love and support. I have been grieving over the death of my grandmother the last month and I have been neglecting my writing. 
> 
> I feel like I'm back on track now, so I hope you enjoy what's to come!

**Five:**

 

 

Emily and Cullen continued their date well into the night. After spending a few hours in the coffee shop, Cullen asked her if she'd enjoy going to the movies. Of course, Emily was elated and agreed almost immediately if it meant spending more time together. They had already spent almost four hours together eating sweets and drinking coffee, discussing their favorite reads. Emily was comfortable around him, like Cullen was naturally calming her by just being near her. She couldn't ignore that feeling her chest whenever she looks at him, it's so strong. 

 

The pair decided to see a romance, Cullen is secretly a hopeless romantic. Emily never really could experience things like this with her husband since he never leaves the house. She was so used to being stood up at restaurants and being tossed aside forhis drug dealing friends. She is so used to sitting alone in her apartment and eating dinner alone. Her loneliness was overwhelming at times. Emily peered over at Cullen during the movie every now and then to watch him. He never spoke of his love life nor did he ever speak of anything specific in that region. She wondered if he was seeing someone or if she was the only person he was spending his time with. She couldn't help but feel a little selfish, monopolizing his free time when he wasn't being treated or at work. She still couldn't fathom the thought of him being with someone else, she knows it isn't fair but she is being selfish. 

 

Her eyes returned to the movie screen and watched it play on. She had quite a bit of room to move around so she rested her hand on the cupholder to the left of her while her other held the water bottle. 

 

Cullen would sneak glances over at Emily every while or so. He would watch her expressions, he found it intriguing. Every time something slightly romantic would happen, she would have such a nostalgic and sad look on her face. When something regarding action, her eyes would light up in excitement. She is the type to fall in love with a story, he found since she shares his love for Jane Austen. He wondered if she was like him in that sense, being hopeless with romance. Always wishing for a happy ending. 

 

He caught her move her hand onto the cupholder between them. He took a sharp inhale of breath and wondered if she was resting it or if she wanted her hand held. Would it be too soon to try? Would he be moving too quickly for her? He figured he would try and if she didnt like it, he wouldn't do it until she asked him to. He watched her watch the movie and noticed her expressions change so quickly. It was a dramatic scene in the movie and he watched as a small tear slid down her cheek, he wondered how much pain she truly was hiding. 

 

Emily had been engrossed in the scene before her. The couple in the movie had been in love but were too stubborn to admit it until he risked his life to save her. On the screen, Emily watched as the woman held her lover close to her chest as she cried heavily. The scene had brought her back to when her patient had become a monster before she met Cullen.

 

She knew he was getting harder to treat, his symptoms worsening as the weeks went on. Of course, he was a Templar like Cullen who was trying to rid his body and mind of lyrium. His PTSD made him untreatable near the end of his life and it tore Emily apart. His name was Edward Blake. He and Emily shared a love and a strong bond together, she never could tell him she loved him and she never got the chance to. It haunts her every single day. 

 

A tear slid down Emily's cheek when she felt Cullen's hand lace together with hers. The sad score of the movie played in her ears in the background. Her breath caught in her throat when his grip grew stronger as he rubbed his thumb against her skin softly. The feeling of his skin on hers was electric, just like the first time she touched him. He had brought her out of her painful memory for which she was grateful. Her heart began to race, feeling like a lovesick teenager was a consistent feeling with him. 

 

Emily looked at their hands intertwined and she gently squeezed his hand. She looked up at him with a slight smile and she could tell he had been working up the courage to hold her hand. She could feel his pulse through his hand but her powers allowed her to feel it much easier than those who didnt have magic. 

 

For the remainder of the movie, Emily and Cullen stayed linked together. When it was time to exit the theater and throw away their food, they still stayed linked. The crowds of people made Emily uncomfortable and Cullen sensed it, he could sense her magic flare up every time some stranger brushed against her. It confused Cullen, why would she be so scared of other people touching her? Did she too have some trauma she never mentioned? Whenever she would tense, Cullen would gently squeeze her hand to reassure her safety with him. 

 

The two had driven back to the coffee shop so Emily could drive back home in her own car. Their day together had been full of fun and had been well spent. 

 

"I-" They both began as they reached Emily's car. 

 

"You go first." Cullen beat her to it. 

 

"I had a really nice time." She smiled, a small brush creeping to her cheeks. 

 

"That makes me happy to hear, I've been told I'm pretty lame when it comes to dates. I'm, uh, I'm glad you enjoyed our time together." Cullen's nervous babbling raged on. 

 

"That was one of the best dates I've been on since high school." Emily admitted, leaning against the door of her car. 

 

"Since high school?" He asks, surprised. 

 

"Considering that was really the last date I've been on, yes." She giggled. 

 

"I'm sorry, if I had known, I'd have done something more grandiose to make a good impression." Cullen smiled, leaning on her car and their arms touching. 

 

"Don't forget your appointment tomorrow morning, ten am sharp!" She insists, smiling up at Cullen. 

 

"Don't worry, doc. I will make sure I set an alarm this time." He laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

There was a slight pause between them. 

 

"You know... Cullen." Emily begins. 

 

"Yes?" He asks, looking down at her. 

 

"We have to keep today a secret." She sighs, pushing a strand of her behind her ear. 

 

"Oh, well. Uh, yes, I figured as much." He sighs, too, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

Emily could hear the hurt in his voice just then. She wants to tell people but she isnt divorced yet and she is his doctor. She cannot lose her job, she is in no position to do so comfortably. She removed herself from her position against the car and stood in front of Cullen to look up into his eyes. She placed her hands on both sides of his face and held his face tenderly. 

 

Cullen's hands came up to hold the ones holding his face, a confused expression knitting into his features. "Has your head been bothering you today?" She asks. 

 

"Not at all." He lies. 

 

"Cullen.." She scolds. 

 

"I've been perfectly fine!" He protests. 

 

"I'm your doctor, you can't keep this kind of thing from me!" She sighs. 

 

"I didn't want to ruin our fun. I apologize, Emily." He sighs in return. 

 

"Let me help?" She asks, bringing her fingertips to his temples. 

 

"Always." He smiles. 

 

Emily brought forth her magic just like she did when she first met him on the cold hospital floor. She started with the cold and worked circles into the tense skin. Once she felt the nerves freeze a bit, she applied her warmth warning a slight moan from Cullen. The sound came from deep within his chest and the blush across Emily's face returned stronger.  She knew she could not let her mind slip into thinking of something else, not that. She pricked his skin with her electricity and she could feel Cullen relaxing beneath her fingers. The only thing she was worried about was this specific treatment was taking longer and longer to work since the first time. 

 

"Mmmh, thank you." Cullen sighed happily, placing his hands on Emily's waist and his head resting on her shoulder. 

 

Emily rested her hands on his broad chest and sighed to herself. She knew she was absolutely screwed and she was trying so hard not to fall for him. 

 

Cullen pulled away and then leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her forehead and lingered for a moment or two. It was like was taking a moment to familiarize himself with her scent, with the feel of her skin beneath his lips for the second time today. 

 

Emily leaned into his kiss, feeling herself falling deeper into the rabbit hole that is Cullen. 

 

••••••

 

_"Emily.."_

 

_"Emily..."_

 

_"Emily...!"_

 

_She was dreaming, she knew that but somehow she couldn't wake herself up. The fade was keeping her there for some unknown reason. Emily listened for the voice calling out to her from before but all she could find was darkness._

 

_Suddenly, she found herself walking down the halls of Havens hospital. She followed the voice again and it brought her to a familiar room, a room she hadn't seen since-_

 

_"Edward?!" She gasped, staring at the man in hospital scrubs before her._

 

_"Emmie.." His voice sighed happily as he reached for her._

 

_"Why...Why are you here?" She asks, reaching her hand out to touch him._

 

_"I miss you." Edward says, sadly. Edward is roughly six feet tall, shaggy black hair like hers and beautiful deep green eyes. The same eyes that drew her in so deeply before._

 

_"How are you here?" Tears slip down her face as she propels herself into his chest. His arms tightly wrapping around her small frame. His face buried into her hair and her cheek against his chest, one beautiful moment together._

 

_"I told you, Emmie, I miss you." He breathes, pulling from their embrace to lift her chin up with his hand._

 

_"I miss you more than anything." Emily sobs._

 

_"I feel so much better now that I am out of this place. You did so much for me, I just wish I was strong enough to continue feeling strong. You know I'm sorry I had to go, right?" He asks, looking into her eyes._

 

_"I wish you didn't go. You were so close to finally kicking that lyrium out of your system." She sighed._

 

_"I know, dear but I'm not suffering anymore. You know that?" He smiled, happily._

 

_"Is this your last time visiting me?" Emily asks._

 

_"Yes, unfortunately. You know how this kind of thing attracts demons, my love. If you see me again, just know it isnt me unless I tell you our safe word. Take care of Cullen for me, I knew him for a short while in the Kirkwall guard. He's a very good and honorable man." Edward smiled._

 

_"H-how-"_

 

_"Shh. Let me enjoy our last kiss together, please." He sighs, leaning further down to embrace her lips with his._

 

_Edward had completely enveloped Emily into him, his arms a protective barrier around her fragile frame. His kiss was deep, passionate, like the man he used to be before the addiction destroyed him. Their lips danced together in a fiery passion, a heated moment of weakness and desperation. Emily's hands wrapped around his neck, gripping the hair at the base of his neck earning a playful lip bite from her past lover. Edward's hands played with fabric of her nightgown, it was lace and it used to be his favorite. Emily groaned into his mouth as he gripped her sides with his fingers, it reminded her of their stolen moments at Haven. Their forbidden affair._

 

_"I have to go now, dove." He whispered between kisses down her neck._

 

_"Stay a little longer." Emily sighed, her hands gripping his shirt as their passion intensified._

 

_"I love you, Emmie." He whispered once more after pecking her lips once more._  

 

Seconds later Emily had woke from her slumber, shooting up into a sitting position. She surveyed her surroundings and slowly paced together her bedroom. Her dream had left her wanting and overheated, wishing she had stayed asleep longer. Emily felt the hot tears drip down her face as she held her face in her hands and sobbed. She blamed herself for Edward's death, for not being quick enough to sedate him, for letting him die. Her pain racked her body in powerful waves, her chest heaving from each heavy sob. 

 

"I'm so sorry, Edward." She whispered to herself through her tears, wishing she wasn't completely  alone. 

 

That's when her phone went off. 

 

**Cullen: "I can't sleep right now. Are you awake? Can I call you?"**


	6. Six:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO sorry for the late update. Life has been hectic and I just got home from visiting my family. 
> 
> Being homesick sucks, doesn’t it? 
> 
> TW: Mention of depression and death.

 

**Chapter Six:**

 

 

Emily stared at the text message intently, still mulling over the dream she just had. Her heart was racing, her chest was on fire, and she had sweat dripping down her neck. Her hair was disheveled and misplaced from the usual ponytail she slept in, small strands stuck to her forehead and cheeks. She continued to stare at the message, fully aware that she had read it and knew Cullen saw that she did.

 

 

Her brain told her just to ignore the message and try to sleep.

 

 

Her heart told her to answer it and see where things go, what if he really needed her?

 

 

Once again, her doctor sworn duty and good heart made the decision making for her.

 

 

She pulled the phone up closer to her face and read the message over and over again. Emily felt like she was in a trance, stuck in some sort of sleep paralysis or something. The ache in her stomach was like fire and the slight ringing in her ears was irritating.

 

 

Flashes of Edward came to her in pieces, she always had trouble remembering the dreams he was in until tonight. It was like he was really there, really and truly in her arms. In dreams she could never see his face or hear his voice, nor could she feel his touch. In dreams, everything was usually so cold and blurry. This time she felt his warm skin and his breath against her lips, something she wanted to believe was impossible. It was true that spirits could linger in between until they crossover but did that mean he had been waiting for her to move on? Had he been watching over her this whole time?

 

 

The wonder crushed her.

 

 

What would she even do if she allowed herself to let Cullen in? Edwards death was still so fresh to her. She’s not even divorced legally and she’s already had on affair, could she really allow herself another? _Surely_ the Maker and Andraste were frowning down upon her, questioning her sins. _Surely_ , she’d go to hell for it. If anyone knew, they’d think she was a whore.

 

Another feeling that felt so cold to her.

 

 

Emily began to type, aware that she was now wide awake.

 

 

**_“You ok?”_** She texts back.

 

 

_**“Eh.”**_ He replies.

 

 

_**“Just eh?”**_ She asks.

 

 

**_“I had so much fun today that I forgot to pick up my prescription for the sleeping draught you made me.. Don’t be mad :(“_** He admits, making Emily chuckle lightly over his ridiculous use of an emoji. It reminded her of how she used to text when she was a teenager.

 

 

**_“I’m not mad, as your friend. As your doctor, maybe a little. You need to be careful about missing your medications Cul, even if you do get your meds tomorrow, you could be back to no sleep for the next week.”_** Emily’s doctor voice stepped in to their conversation.

 

 

**“Yeah yeah yeah, Doctor Trevelyan :p”** Cullen says, mocking her with a tongue face, making Emily laugh again.

 

 

**_“You’re mocking me, huh?”_** Emily sends.

 

 

**_“What if I am?”_** He continues.

 

 

**_“I guess that just means I won’t go out with you anymore!”_** She teased.

 

 

**_“That would be a travesty, please forgive me!”_** Cullen pleads.

 

 

**_“Hmmm...”_** She continues to tease.

 

 

**_“Pretty please?”_** He begs, like a child.

 

 

**_“Maybe ;)”_** She laughs to herself. Lately, it seemed like Cullen was able to bring out the inner child in her and she loved it. After wasting her youth on someone who never cared and abused her, she felt young again and she felt whimsical for the first time.

 

 

**_“Shall I bring breakfast to my appointment tomorrow morning to make it up to you?”_** Cullen asks.

 

 

**_“Ooo, you may win me over with a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant and an iced coffee!”_** Emily could feel her stomach growl at the thought of a tasty treat in the morning. Though, her heart stuttered when she remembered she would be having a breakfast date with her patient. The same feeling of dread sunk into her bones when she had to face the music eventually, she couldn’t attach herself to someone again, not so quickly.

 

 

**_“Perfect, I’ll be looking forward to it. :)”_** Cullen replies, happily.

 

 

**_“I’m going to head back to sleep, Cullen. I hope you can get back to sleep as well.”_** Emily replies, distancing herself from the approaching intimacy of their messages.

 

 

**_“Yes, thank you and you as well, Emily. Sleep tight. xx”_** Cullen’s choice of ending his text message struck Emily right in her feelings. She felt the warmth of innocent feelings spread across her chest.

 

 

Emily laid herself back onto her bed and pillow with a loud thud, the air under her pillow puffing out. She closed her eyes and rubbed her hands against her face and dragged them down her cheeks, letting out a loud groan. She kicked her legs under her bed like a child throwing a tantrum, except she was an adult having a crisis. She opened her eyes through her fingers to stare at the ceiling, watching the sparkle of the popcorn ceiling reflecting the moonlight.

 

 

How conflicted she felt.

 

 

Why would the Maker allow her to form feelings for another Templar with withdrawal problems while she is married?!

 

 

How could she possibly allow herself to open up her heart to another man she might end up losing?

 

 

There’s no guarantee that Cullen will make it out of his Lyrium addiction alive, there’s always a bigger chance of death being the outcome. She lost Edward to the same fate, she watched him die right in front of her, she held him while he took his last breaths. Then somehow days later, Cullen walked into her hospital. How cruel can the universe be!?

 

 

A sob escaped her lips followed by a deep gasp for air. Her tightened stomach every time she let out a strangled cry hurt and cramped. Her chest felt aflame, her lungs feeling like a punching bag. The struggle between choosing happiness or choosing security weighs heavily on her mind.

 

 

Many thoughts ran through Emily’s mind as she silently cried, she always tried to stay quiet when she was like this. It was easier because no one would hear her and no one would ask questions but she was all alone, why wouldn’t she let it out?

 

 

After what felt like too long, Emily eventually cried herself to sleep.

 

 

**———**

 

 

Cullen woke up quite chipper. He was ready to take on the day and surprisingly he was happy.

 

 

Talking to Emily really helped him ease into a nights rest, shockingly enough. It was strange but he always felt at peace when he was with her or texting her, a wonderful feeling though. He’d noticed he was taking more caution with his appearance more than he used to, he wasn’t sure if that was new or because of his awareness of his favorite doctor.

 

 

Once Cullen was dressed and once he had taken all his medication for the daytime, he head out and made sure to stop at his favorite coffee shop to grab breakfast.

 

 

_Was it his favorite because of the library and peaceful setting or was it because of a certain raven-haired beauty?_

 

 

Cullen arrived and the bell on the door jingled as he walked in. He was immediately greeted by the cashier and a few of the employees doing early morning cleaning. He approached the display where a plethora of breakfast options lay.

 

 

“Lookin’ for somethin’ specific, mate?” A female voice rang out across from the display.

 

 

He looked up to see an elf woman with short, blonde and choppy hair. She was average height and very pale, freckles everywhere. She dawned a maroon red shirt and plaidweave pair of uniform pants, accompanied by a white apron and plastic gloves.

 

 

“Ah, yes, is it obvious?” He asks, realizing he’s never ordered for someone else before.

 

 

“Aye, s’all right! What can I get ya?” She asks, her shrill voice making Cullen cringe a bit.

 

 

“Ah, I’ll take a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant with an iced coffee. I believe that’s what my lady wanted.” Cullen says to her.

 

 

“Ooo, this for a lady ah?” She begins. “Tryna get some brownie points are ya?”

 

 

“Quite possibly, she deserves it nonetheless.” He answers, feeling warmth in his chest. “She’s incredible.”

 

 

“What she like?” The elf asks, as she prepares the food.

 

 

“She’s a wonderful person, she is exhilarating and impossibly stubborn. Her black hair is the shiniest and most beautiful hair I’ve seen, her eyes are what makes me truly entranced. I’d be wrong if I didn’t say she has bewitched me, especially her passion for being a doctor.” Cullen mused, a slight blush on his face. “I feel like a boy again.” He chuckled.

 

 

“Sounds like a lass I knew from med school!” The woman says, with a smile.

 

 

“Where did you go to medical school?” Cullen asks, making conversation.

 

 

“Haven.” She states, putting the food in a brown paper bag.

 

 

“Interesting, would her last name happen to be Trevelyan?” Cullen asks now curious.

 

 

“Heck yeah! You know Emmie-wemmie?” She asks, excitedly.

 

 

“Yes, I do. Seems like she knows a lot of people then.” Cullen replies, feeling awkward that he just spilled all of that out to a former co worker of Emily’s. 

 

 

“Are ya a coworker of hers?” She asks, raising a brow.

 

 

“No, uh, she’s my doctor actually.” He admits, feeling the bitter taste of reality on his tongue. It didn’t taste very good, he thought. 

 

 

“Annnnd ya buyin’er breakfast? Her favorite breakfast, huh?” She smiles widely.

 

 

Cullen clears his throat embarrassingly, “Ah, yes. I am.”

 

 

“Be careful now, I know she’s easy on the eyes and the heart but she’s damaged goods that one. I love her ta bits but she’s been through hell and back. Twice.” She warns.

 

 

“What do you mean?” Cullen asks nervously.

 

 

The elf walks around the corner and motions him over to a table. Cullen follows and stands beside her at a table set higher up by the window.

 

 

“Not too long ago, she told me she was filin’ t’divorce her man. Said that he wasn’t signing nothin’ and is makin’ a mess o’things.” She starts, leaning over the table to talk privately. “About ‘round the same time she told me about a patient she was ‘avin an affair with. Some broken Templar who was goin’ off the deep end or somethin.”

 

 

Cullen couldn’t believe his ears, he could feel a strange feeling in his chest again.

 

 

He knew she was having marriage troubles but she was having an affair like her husband? How could that be true? With an ex-Templar, just like him, a patient just like him. Cullen didn’t know how to feel but he felt something, something strange.

 

 

“W-what happened after that?” Cullen asks, nervously.

 

 

“The poor kid took a bunch of his crazy candies and hid em.’ He took em’ all at once after savin’em for months and he died.” She sighed, resting her head on her hand.

 

 

“Maker, that’s-“

 

 

“Bloody fuckin awful, but that’s not the worst part.” She says.

 

 

“How could it get worse than that??” Cullen asked, his heart breaking for Emily.

 

 

“He died in front of her, like, he had it all planned out, man.” She began. “Poor Emmie did CPR on him for half n’hour. She was destroyed n’she had ta act like she was all rainbows and puppies cos’ patient relationships are forbidden.”

 

 

Cullen literally felt like he was going to cry for Emily. There was no name for the emotion he was currently feeling as he pictured a sobbing Emily over a mans dead body on the hospital floor.

 

 

“She swore off relationships for the rest of ‘er life after that one.” She continues. “Makes me happy to see she’s got someone like you, you must be special blondie!”

 

 

“I wish I had known that, thank you for telling me.” He replies, unsure how to move on from that conversation.

 

 

“The coffee is on me, mate. I put her favorite flavor in there, she’ll ‘preciate it lots.” The girl winks. “Tell her to call me or text me, I’m Sera. Nice t’meetcha!”

 

 

“Will do, thanks, Sera.” Cullen silently walked out of the coffee shop and got into his car, completely dumbstruck.

 


	7. Seven:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know how you think I’m doing so far! I’m interested in hearing feedback and if there’s any thing you’d like to see specifically, tell me!

**Chapter Seven:**

 

 

Emily sat at her desk with her legs crossed, her head resting on her hand while she tapped her pen on her desk. She seemed so lost in her own thoughts lately, like she was drowning in self-doubt and responsibilities she didn’t want.After a few moments of watching her wall clock tick and tick, her office landline began to ring. 

 

 

_“Hello?”_ She asks, not recognizing the number.

 

 

_“May I speak to Mrs. Trevelyan?”_ A thick, female Antivan accent questioned.

 

 

_“This is she, may I ask who is calling?”_ Emily asks.

 

 

_“This is Josephine Montilyet, I’m calling from Nightingale Law.”_ She spoke.

 

 

_“Oh! Wonderful, I’m so glad you called. I was getting worried my information wasn’t getting through.”_ She says excitedly.

 

 

_“Not a worry, Lady Trevelyan. I guess I shall get to the point, when would you like to begin filling out your divorce paperwork?”_ Josephine asks.

 

 

_“I’ve actually already filled out my portion, I just need my husband to fill it out but I am having complications with that aspect.”_ Emily sighs, rolling her eyes.

 

 

_“Ah yes, that does happen more than you think.”_ Josephine replies.

 

 

_“I wanted to file him for fault due to adultery but I know he won’t go along with it, naturally. What can I do to make this as painless as possible so I can move on with my life?”_ Emily asks, sadly.

 

 

_“Not to worry too much, you will still be granted a divorce even if he won’t sign the papers! A lot of people believe they will have to wait a long time for their spouse to sign their papers after being served, but you can do this rather quickly.”_ Josephine stated.

 

 

_“Really?! Meaning, I can get this over soon and I can really start living my life?”_ She asks, nearly jumping out of her chair.

 

 

_“Of course. Since your husband has already been served and done so by the local law enforcement, you are well on your way to completing the divorce.”_ Josephine answers, nicely.

 

 

_“I am so happy to hear that, Ms. Montilyet.”_ Emily smiles to herself, uncrossing her legs and sitting straight in her chair.

 

 

_“Most are when we give them that kind of news. All you have to do is file for irreconcilable differences and you should be awarded your divorce within the next couple months or so.”_ Josephine replies.

 

 

_“I wish I didn’t have to but if it’s what will get me out of this marriage quicker, I am one-hundred percent ready.”_ She chuckles lightly.

 

 

_“I’m glad to be able to help, My Lady.”_ Josephine’s formality making Emily shiver. A title she’s no longer used to hearing, though, not mad at either.

 

 

_“I will pay you guys anything I need to, I’ll make it work.”_ Emily breathes out heavily, already calculating her expenses to make sure she budgets correctly.

 

 

_“Believe it or not, there is no price to pay.”_ Josephine says, laughing a bit.

 

 

_“How so? I know stuff like this costs a significant amount of money.”_ She asks, bewildered.

 

 

_“It has already been paid for.”_ Josephine states.

 

 

_“What?! By who?”_ Emily exclaims.

 

 

_“By an anonymous source, they wished to remain a mystery.”_ Josephine replies, sounding just as surprised as Emily.

 

 

_“I, are you sure? I want to make sure I thank them properly! There’s no way you can release that information to me?”_ She asks, taken back by someone’s kindness towards her.

 

 

_“Unfortunately, I cannot, My Lady.”_ Josephine explains. _“When you have time come to my office and we will fill out the necessary documents together.”_

 

 

_“Yes, okay, uh, sounds good.”_ Emily stutters. _“When?”_

 

 

_“How about this Friday at 5pm?”_ Josephine asks.

 

 

_“Sure thing, I’ll be there, thank you!”_ Emily says.

 

 

_“Do enjoy the rest of your day.”_ Josephine says.

 

 

_“You as well, thank you again.”_ She ends the phone call, putting the phone onto the receiver.

 

 

For a moment, Emily was dumbstruck. She wondered who possibly could have paid her fee. Getting a divorce usually costs more than $500 or more, not including the hourly rate for the lawyer!  She isn’t very close with anyone anymore and she knew it wasn’t anyone she currently worked with or used to work with. Emily ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated and completely flabbergasted. She huffed out a deep breath and closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair.

 

 

She would eventually figure out who the mystery person was, right? There was no way they would stay hidden for the rest of her life, right? She wanted so badly to thank her knight in shining armor who has saved her from nearly a decade of misery. A piece of her was excited becaus that meant she could finally start looking for a place to live, somewhere secluded! Maybe she could finally buy her own house that she’s been carefully saving for, somewhere quiet and peaceful with a lot of land. Her being single also meant she could be seen with whoever she wanted without feeling wrong. Would that mean she and Cullen could- _no, Emily, get yourself together!_ Not the time. 

 

 

A knock on her door broke her out of deep train of thought.

 

 

“Come in!” She called out.

 

 

Cullen walked in, looking divine. He wore a dark washed pair of jeans, not like his usual sweatpants. He dressed the jeans with a longsleeve black shirt with a v-neck and a pair of dark brown boots. He had on a dark brown leather jacket and his heavily golden hair was perfectly coiffed up like the halo he deserves. He was carrying a brown bag and a coffee in one hand, making Emily realize how large his hands actually were.

 

 

“I bring gifts.” Cullen smiled, closing the door behind him and walking towards Emily’s desk.

 

 

“You actually did it? Cullen, thank you so much.” Emily beamed, sitting closer to her desk.

 

 

“Anything for you, Emily.” He praised, his baritone voice sounding like pure sugar and honey on his tongue. She always loved when she heard her name roll from his perfect lips.

 

 

“You spoil me.” Emily elated, watching Cullen place her things on her desk as he sat down across from her.

 

 

Emily pulled her croissant and a handful of napkins out of the brown bag, opening the wrapper and inhaling the scent of fresh food. She closed her eyes when the smell of bacon hit her, nearly crying because she was so hungry and forgot to eat breakfast. She then took a large sip of her iced coffee and smiled widely, “How did you know caramel was my favorite?”

 

 

“Actually, one of your old friends works there and she told me it was your favorite. Though, I didn’t know the flavor was caramel until now, forgive me.” Cullen revels in her happiness, a happy warmth enveloping him. If he could make her this happy all the time, Maker, he’d give her the world.

 

 

“Who was it?” Emily asked, confused.

 

 

“She said her name was Sera and she said to call her every now and then.” He laughed lightly.

 

 

“Oh! Of course, I was the closest with her in medical school in Haven!” She begins. “I always knew she would end up in a bakery somewhere.”

 

 

“She works at our place, I never noticed until now.” Cullen says, suddenly embarrassed that he said “our place” like they were dating.

 

 

“Our place, huh?” Emily smiled, a slight blush forming across her high cheekbones.

 

 

“I uh, forgive me. Maker, I didn’t mean-“

 

 

“Don’t worry about it, Cullen.” She says, losing herself in the moment of happiness. “I don’t mind the sound of that.”

 

 

“Really?” He asks, sitting up straighter in his chair.

 

 

“I was hoping we could spend some more time together.” Emily said, sipping at her delicious coffee.

 

 

“You said that.” Cullen barely whispers, happily.

 

 

Emily couldn’t help but feel her heart flutter in her chest at the sight of him. He was so happy that she wanted to spend more time together, had he felt the same anxiety she felt? It suddenly hit her that it’s not just her with feelings, he probably understands their position just as well as she does.

 

 

“Now, let us get to business.” Emily starts, biting her croissant. “You went to the pharmacy to get your sleeping drought, right?”

 

 

“Yes.” He replies, obediently.

 

 

“Good, good. How have your headaches and nightmares been? I know you said they both come hand in hand, a few weeks ago.” She asks, clicking her pen to begin editing.

 

 

“When I’m not taking my sleeping drought, the nightmares are usually the worst.” Cullen mentions. “The headaches come and go but they are shorter than they were a year ago.”

 

 

“That makes me very happy to hear, except for the nightmare part. Clearly. I’ll have to check back in with those once you’ve been consistently taking your sleep medicine.” She says, writing notes onto her notepad. “For the headaches, do you find my treatment working well or is it only easing the pain for a few hours?”

 

 

“It’s different each time. Some days the treatment will work all day and all night for a couple of days with no issue. Some days it only works until I go to sleep.” He admits.

 

 

“Interesting, when that happens, are those the days you’re coming home from work?” Emily asks, feeling as if she’s on the edge of an idea.

 

 

“Yes, actually. How did you know?” He asks, amazed.

 

 

“I know some days I’ll come home from work with a headache, depending on what I’m dealing with. For someone experiences problems such as yours, any of those normal tiring feelings will intensify.” Emily explains. “It’s like your body experiences heightened everything more than the normal person.”

 

 

“That would make sense as to why simple tasks at work have been exhausting.” He answers, nodding his head in understanding.

 

 

“Now that we’ve identified the problem, we need to figure out a solution.” She suggests.

 

 

“What do you think will work?” Cullen asks, curiously.

 

 

“Increase your water consumption and try to shorten your work days by an hour or so. I don’t know what hours you work but please shorten them, I will write a doctors note for your boss as well.” She commands.

 

 

“I guess I can’t say no to that!” He chuckled.

 

 

“Who doesn’t want a get out of work early pass?” Emily laughs.

 

 

“Crazy people, that’s who.” He smiles and laughs again. Emily felt her heart sore as she listened to him laugh over and over, it sounded like beautiful music.

 

 

“It’s good to see you laugh. The first moment I met you, you were so hellbent on dying.” She says, resting against her chair.

 

 

“When you find something worth living for, you actually find yourself living more and more each day.” Cullen’s words struck Emily’s heart like a flaming arrow to the chest, earning a fierce blush to appear all over her face.

 

 

“I, uh, oh wow.” Emily stammers. “I don’t know how to answer that. That is so sweet.”

 

 

“I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.” Cullen replies.

 

 

“No, no! I’m just not used to hearing things like this.” She admits.

 

 

“Anyone would be a fool not to tell you those things every day.” He answers, sternly.

 

 

“Thank you, Cullen. Uhm, let’s continue our consultation, shall we?” She asks, awkwardly, feeling her body growing warm.

 

 

“Yes.” He answers.

 

 

“Let me write that note for you and then I’ll give it to you, if they give you any trouble just call me.” Emily suggests.

 

 

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” He replies, relaxing in his chair.

 

 

“Are you having any other problems? You’ve been eating well?” She asks.

 

 

“Yes, of course. I hope to start working out in the gym again soon, it’s been too long if I must admit.” He smiles.

 

 

“You feel good enough to consider that?” She asks surprised.

 

 

“Surprising, I know. I’m just as shocked as you are but since I’ve been sleeping better and finally able to keep food in my stomach, I feel better.” Cullen says. “Thank you for believing in me, Emily.”

 

 

“Oh, Cullen..” She sighs, feeling an immense amount of pride for her work and happiness for him.

 

 

“No, really, thank you so much. I never thought I would get myself out of the bad place I was in. I was there for so long and felt so hopeless, until you walked in on me getting body slammed by hospital security.” He laughs, hearty and happy.

 

 

“To hear that makes me so happy, you’ve no idea.” She smiles wide.

 

 

“I wish I could repay you.” He states.

 

 

“There’s no reason for you to do so. I am your doctor, your insurance pays me!” Emily jokes, earning a giggle from Cullen. “Seriously, you won’t ever have to. This is my favorite part of being a doctor, making the impossible possible.”

 

 

“You are an incredible woman.” Cullen remarks.

 

 

“It’s always nice to hear it, sometimes that’s all I need to know.” She replies, sighing.

 

 

“Would you like to go to dinner with me Friday night? Maybe, around seven?” He blurts out.

 

 

“Where?” She asks, feeling her heart speed up.

 

 

“We can do hibachi? There’s a new place across town and I’ve been dying to try it out.” He suggested, making Emily hungry.

 

 

“I’d love to.” She answers, not even thinking about it.

 

 

“Wonderful.” He smiles widely, showing his perfect teeth and stretching the scar on his lip.

 

 

“I’ll be looking forward to it!” Emily begins. “I think this concludes our appointment. I’ll walk you to the door.”

 

 

The pair rose from their chairs and Cullen followed after Emily like a lost puppy. He was infatuated with the raven-haired woman, completely on cloud nine since she accepted his dinner request.

 

 

“I’ll see you again next Wednesday at the same time.” Emily smiles, reaching for the handle.

 

 

Cullen had reached for the handle at the same time as Emily and for a brief moment, their hands touched. It was a quick second before they pulled away instinctively, but the feeling of her soft skin made Cullen’s heart jump out of his chest. Emily’s breath caught in her throat when she felt his hand against hers, if her heart wasn’t exploding before it definitely was now. They shared a small moment staring into one another’s eyes, like they were the only ones in the universe.

 

 

“I got it.” Emily broke the silence, holding the door open.

 

 

“Please have a great rest of your day, Emily.” Cullen smiles, standing in the doorway.

 

 

“I definitely will, thank you for the breakfast and the never ending compliments.” She smiled back.

 

 

A rush of confidence flooded Cullen and he leaned over and brushed his lips gently over Emily’s cheek, closer to her mouth. It brought chills to her spine and she felt lightheaded. Cullen smiled slightly and turned around to make his exit, his sudden burst of confidence trailing over him. He was sure he just embarrassed himself further but Emily didn’t reject it, so that gave him hope after what Sera told him today. Cullen had a secret but he sincerely hopes it won’t come to light anytime soon.   

 


	8. Eight:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how you guys feel about this chapter!!

**Eight:**

 

 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Cullen asks, adorably questioning with a full forkful of steak in his mouth.

 

 

Emily giggled at the sight, noting that behavior was gross when her husband did it but not when Cullen does it. Another warning sign that she was falling too quickly, another reminder of the subtle line she was crossing. Lately, she didn’t seem to care about crossing that line because she wanted this so badly. She wanted to be happy.

 

 

“Immensely, dinner and a show! Who knew you were a jack of many trades?” Emily playfully teases.

 

 

 

“When I’m not suffering from the withdrawals, I am good at many things, my dear.” Cullen replies with a wink, followed by an immediate red face when he realizes his sudden pet name. “I apologize for that, Em.”

 

 

 

“What’re you apologizing for?” She responds, resting her head on her hand as she stares at him.

 

 

 

“I am sure you and I aren’t quite there yet... In that part of our, uh, friend...ship.” He says, clearing his throat and chugging down the rest of his wine.

 

 

 

“I don’t dislike it, you know.” She half whispers, looking away from Cullen then looking back to see him visibly stunned.

 

 

 

“Ah, I, really? Are you sure? I’m not pushing?” He asks, his palms beginning to sweat.

 

 

 

“I’m being completely honest with you, Cullen.” She smiles, brightly.

 

 

 

“Maker, you’ll be the death of me.” He chuckles nervously.

 

 

“You aren’t the only one second guessing themselves over every tiny thing they do, by the way.” Emily says as a matter of fact.

 

 

“What do you have to second guess? You are by _far_ the most divine creature I’ve had the honor of knowing.” Cullen compliments, making Emily’s heart flutter, the wine bringing a flush to her chest.

 

 

“Sometimes I wish I knew how to react to those things you say to me, you leave me speechless quite a bit, Mr. Rutherford.” Emily begins. “I constantly worry about saying the wrong things and I overthink my actions. You make me feel like a giddy high schooler all over again, a good feeling for sure but definitely nerve wracking.”

 

 

 

“Truly?” Is all Cullen managed to come up with, mentally scolding himself for it.

 

 

“ _Truly_.” Emily admits, laying the right hand that previously held her head up onto the table. Her fingertips barely touching the bottom of Cullen’s wine glass, her well manicured nails shining under the candle light.

 

 

Cullen had invited her to one of his friends restaurants in town, a special table on the rooftop under the stars was carefully placed for the pair. He wouldn’t tell her that he had made a few promises to his old friend in order to make this special night happen. The view of the city was truly breathtaking since the restaurant sat on the outskirts of town, barely any city lights to ruin the view of the constellations.

 

 

Cullen carefully reached his hand out to touch Emily’s. The two shared a nervous glance at one another before returning their eyes back to their hands. It started with their fingertips touching, a familiar warmth spread in both of their chests. Then Cullen took Emily’s delicate hand into his, lacing his larger fingers between her smaller ones. Emily felt her breath hitch in the back of her throat, the warmth of his skin against hers made a shiver run down her spine. Cullen’s other hand was tightly gripping the end of his red and black flannel, trying to hide his emotions that were starting to overcome him. Both of their hands joined together within a single breath from the lovebirds, another shared look into each other’s eyes.

 

 

Emily could’ve sworn that the world had stopped. She could hear her heart beating faster than a race horse in her ears, her chest only a rest stop to house a heart on the move. Cullen’s fingertips were calloused a bit, remembering he plays guitars so that would happen naturally. His palm was warm, somewhat smoother than his fingertips. She wondered what it would be like to feel them against her skin.

 

 

Cullen was so nervous he thought he would die right there. It had been so long, _too long_ , since he has felt this way for anyone else. He was trying to fight it because of the fear that they’d be found out and that his selfish heart would cost Emily her livelihood. He couldn’t be selfish with anyone but it was damn near time that he should be just as happy as his friends and family. She was the one person he didn’t want to be selfish with but for her, he’d go to the ends of the earth. She was soft and warm, more than just a warm body like he’s used to, she’s real and right there with him. A fantasy he’s never allowed himself to indulge, sitting across from him under the stars.

 

 

“Would you like to view our scenery from the railing?” Cullen asks, looking over to the white, hand crafted railing beside them.

 

 

“Yes.” Emily nodded, allowing herself to get out of her seat first. “There’s something I have on my mind.”

 

 

The loss of contact between them felt unnecessary so before they got to the railing, Cullen laced his hand with hers again. Leaning up against the railing, he stood next to her shoulder to shoulder, hands interlocked. He had no idea what to say in this kind of moment, he had been so young when he experienced his last romance. Every woman in between had been meaningless compared to the woman his held in his hand now. Emily was taking in the low lights coming from the horizon, the slight purple fading into dark blue covered in stars. Feeling Cullen beside her felt like the best thing she’s felt in years, she felt stronger, more confident in herself. The silence was killing her though so she had to break it.

 

 

“Cullen I-“

 

 

“The weather is nice tonight.” Cullen blurts out like an idiot. Rolling his eyes at himself and bringing his other hand up behind his neck awkwardly.

 

 

“What?” She asks.

 

 

“Ah, nothing. I didn’t mean to interrupt you, please continue.” He requests, rubbing his neck.

 

 

“I find myself thinking of you..more than I should and well- all the time really.” Emily half whispers, too nervous to speak. “Cullen I care for you, and I-“ Emily starts to end in a frustrated sigh as she turns to face him.

 

 

“I can’t say I haven’t wondered what it would be like.” He begins, looking away and then looking back at her through the moonlight.“What’s wrong?” He asks, concerned.

 

 

Emily thinks back to the time Cullen and her had their first appointment. She recalled his time as a soldier at Kinloch and his horrible experience with mages. How could he have recovered from that? She always feared her magic scared him or made him nervous around her, especially when using it to treat his migraines. Emily never brought it up due to the possibility of triggering him into a memory or worse, an episode but if she was going to consider going into anything with him...she had to know.

 

 

“You left the Templars but do you trust mages? I’m a _mage_ , I mean, after everything you went through... Could you ever think of me as anything more?” Emily bit her lip nervously, looking away from Cullen’s eyes. “Could you trust me?” Afraid of his answer.

 

 

“I could, I-I mean, I do think of you and I do think of what I may say in this sort of situation...” Cullen breathes out heavily, cussing himself mentally for not finding the right words to say. He knew he was an insufferable oaf sometimes but now was not the time do be so.

 

 

Emily watches his inner turmoil, trying to read his thoughts but he’s so hard to read sometimes. He looks like he wants to say something but unsure of how to say it or if he should say it at all. “What’s stopping you?” She asks, looking up into his eyes and gently holding his bicep with her free hand.

 

 

Cullen standing in front of her now, caging her against the hip-height railing, looks deeply into her eyes for a moment before sighing. He knew what he was about to say and there was no going back from it whatsoever, that’s what scares him. “You’re my doctor and, and you’re married. And I, I’m just a broken old man who’s mind is withering away to nothing. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I thought a future _at all_ let alone a future with you was...possible.”

 

 

“Oh, Cullen you aren’t broken, don’t you ever say that again. I’m so sorry that you’ve felt so trapped in a life that you should be enjoying.” Emily says sadly, reaching up to hold the collar of his red and black flannel. “I’m still here.”

 

 

Cullen, feeling his heart nearly going to explode from his chest closed the distance between them. Their chests touching and his hands comfortably resting on her hips, Emily’s hands tightening their grip on the ends of his collar. “So you are.” Cullen sighs happily, relieved, not believing the moment unfolding in front of him. “It seems too much to ask but I want to.” He says with the half smile that drives Emily crazy inside. Emily could feel heat everywhere, her brain and heart were screaming in tandem for the same reasons, this moment was something out of a romance novel. Cullen begun to lean down and slightly close his eyes as their noses began to grace against one another. Emily closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Cullen’s neck, their lips ghosting over each other.

 

 

 

“Sir!” An annoying, ill-timed voice chimes in. The plucky looking, lanky, man stood with a black leather book in his hands as he stared at Cullen and Emily, staring more at Emily than he was at Cullen making her self conscious.

 

 

“ _What?!_ ” Cullen growled, angrily pulling away from Emily.

 

 

“You wanted a copy of your receipt before you and the lady took off tonight. I made sure to get it for you, without delay, sir.” The squeaky voice of an underpaid waiter announced, looking at Emily once more.

 

 

Cullen stepped close to the poor soul and glared so hard, Emily was sure it would cut the poor boy in half while she stood their dumbstruck. “O-or I can leave it on the table! Yes! The table. Enjoy your night!” The waiter quickly escaped his near death situation leaving the check on the table and taking the plates. Then scurried back down the stairs to the main floor of the restaurant.

 

 

 

“Cullen, if you need to-“

 

 

Within a second, Cullen had crashed his lips onto hers without a moment wasted. Both his hands held her face gently between them, Emily’s eyes wide open from the sudden action. Cullen’s lips began to move again and Emily found herself in the clouds, resting against his body and pulling him in closer by the hem of his shirt. Cullen deepened the kiss and wove his hand through the curls in her hair, a slight sound escaping Emily’s lips, causing Cullen to pull away for a moment.

 

 

 

“I’m sorry.” Cullen breathes out. “That was uh, really nice.” He smiles. Emily’s heart soared watching him smile like that for the first time she’s ever seen. Never has she ever seen such a radiant, handsome smile in her life.

 

 

“That was what I wanted.” Emily sighs, her words coming out breathless, happy.

 

 

“Oh, good.” He responds, his heart nearly stopped from their passion as he continued their kisses. Already, he was lost in the ocean that was her and he never wanted to escape. She tastes like pink moscato and her lips were soft, her tongue felt just as he imagined. Soon, Emily’s fingers were in Cullen’s hair and Cullen had one of his legs between hers. Whenever their mouths detached they would breathe in tandem, only to latch onto one another like they were drinking each other in. Cullen felt like a man starved, deprived of water for years until he felt her. Until he tasted her, he had known nothing of the luxury he knew now.

 

 

Cullen lifted her by the backs of her thighs, her dress riding up dangerously as he carried her over to the table that was now clear of food. His hands found their way to her hips again and they slowly moved their way up to her waist and then to her ribs, smoothing the fabric down and gripping her sides. Emily’s legs wrapped around his thighs, pulling him so close that she could feel the heat between them as their bodies clung so close together. She felt wanted, needed, like she had never felt before. This passion and feeling was so foreign and now so blissful, she could feel a familiar feeling bubbling in her lower stomach. A feeling she usually felt when she was alone, it had been so long since she had been with anyone. Even with Edward, she never felt this way and never got any further than this. Cullen would only be the second man ever that she’d allow herself to sleep with.

 

 

Would it even be “sleeping with him?” She wondered.

 

 

“Makers breath, Emily.” Cullen’s rough, deep breathless voice sang. She felt it in her veins no, she felt his need in her bones.

 

 

“Cullen..” She moaned against his lips, taking his lower one between her teeth. A groan came from deep in his chest in between kisses, the moment was so heated and so full of the passion they both desperately needed.

 

 

The kissing didn’t stop, they wanted to be suffocated in each other’s presence, to feel everything they’ve been holding back for so long. Everything Cullen had been holding back sitting across from her all those appointments, watching her with her crossed legs in those pencils skirts. Emily would watch him to, when he would lay down on her couch drinking coffee. The days he would come in before a workout so everything was on display for her in his sweats, the primal urge to let go of her inhibitions trying not to kick in.

 

 

Cullen wrapped his arms around her so tightly, slightly laying her on the small table they shared for dinner. Emily was practically crushed against Cullen’s chest but she didn’t care, every fiber of her being could not care less about who saw them or who could hear them. Each sway of Cullen’s hips against her core drove her crazy but she could feel that it was driving him insane, too only fueling her fire.

 

 

“Where have you been my whole life?” Cullen whispered against her ear as he kissed his way down her cheek to the crook of her neck, holding Emily closely by her back and her neck.

 

Emily had wondered what it would have been like to meet such a wonderful man before she met Liam. Would she have married Cullen instead? Would they be happy now? Would they be flourishing and too in love to care about anything else? She would have been working as a doctor still but would she have a family at this point if she had met Cullen then? So many what ifs and so many questions flooded Emily’s mind, she truly wondered if this is where her happy ending started. 

 

 

“Waiting for you..” She breathlessly whispered, holding Cullen tighter and kissing his cheek and collarbone every time he made a pass by her lips.

 

Being with Emily was like nothing else to Cullen. Listening to her say she has been waiting for someone like him her whole life was the validation he needed. He could be the strong man she needed, he could give her a happier life, a life she never dreamed. A life he never thought he’d ever have. When you spend the last three years of your life planning your funeral and wondering how you will break it to your family, you never think about hope. Until now, Cullen believed he was a dead man walking. Until he met the angel sent to him from Andraste and the Maker. Emily was his divine intervention, his calling. He would worship her for as long as time permits. 

 

If if it was humanly possible, the pair would hold each other closer. Cullen’s hands found their way slowly gliding against her hot skin, up her dress. Emily felt chills running over her skin, goosebumps forming from the heavenly feeling of his hands on her. Cullen’s hands reached around to her back, holding her shoulders with both hands as he kissed down her chest. Emily felt her head fall back from Cullen’s intimacy, her eyes closing tight as she relished in the feeling of his lips between her breasts.

 

Almost if the universe just wanted to ruin their moment, Emily’s phone started to ring.

 

 

Emily ignored it the first time, continuing her ministrations on Cullen’s jawline and under, placing hot kisses down his neck mimicking his own actions on her. Then the second time her phone rang, she looked over at it on the ground and then ignored it once more, kissing Cullen again. They were intoxicated off of each other’s taste. For the third time, Cullen pulled away and said, “it might be important.”

 

 

“If it’s that important they’ll leave a voicemail.” She whined, kissing him again. Again, Cullen lost himself in the kiss, nearly killing over at how otherworldly and divine it felt to hold her and kiss her. 

 

 

“Emily...” Cullen warned, through their kisses. He looked over at the phone and looked back at her, mourning their loss of contact. “It says Anthony?” He asks, curiously.

 

 

Emily went rigid in his arms. “Anthony?” She scrambled out of Cullen’s arms and rushed to her phone.

 

 

 

“Who is it?” Cullen questioned, a horrible feeling filling his gut.

 

 

“My sisters husband.” She reassures him, taking his hand in hers before picking up the phone.

 

 

“Anthony? Why are you calling me?” She asks, her tone worrying Cullen. Something tells him Anthony doesn’t call her often.

 

 

Cullen could hear a faint voice on the other side of the phone, unsure of what to make of it. That’s when Emily’s face fell and turned whiter than snow, Cullen felt a shiver down his spine. The look on his beloveds face was something he’d never seen before but he somehow knew something was bad.

 

 

“Slow down! Where are they transporting her?!” Emily says, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “Skyhold? Okay, okay, I will be there in ten. I know. I’ll see you there.”

 

 

She was cold to the touch, her aura had completely changed and Cullen could feel it. He didn’t lose all of his abilities as a Templar and he knew in his bones when something wasn’t right, especially when it came to her. “Em?” He asks, worried. Emily looked up at him through her tears and going from a night so perfect, it was going to end in so much despair. “What’s happened, love?”

 

 

For a moment she stood silent in his arms, scaring him. He bent down a bit and held her biceps in his hands, looking into her eyes. “Emily?” He asks again, frantically.

 

 

 

“My sisters been in an accident. Will you bring me to Skyhold?” She cried, wiping her eyes.

 

 

“Let’s go.” Cullen ushered her down the stairs and to his car. He didn’t even know she had a sister, she said she didn’t talk to her family much but then again, he never asked about siblings did he? All he knew was that he needed to be there for her. He needed to give her the endless support that she had given him.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Nine:**

 

 

The entire ride to Skyhold was silent. Cullen kept glancing over at Emily who was attached to her phone, texting, calling, and answering calls. Every thirty seconds she was checking for notifications and it was unsettling. Her nerves took full control of her and this was something Cullen never knew about her but this wasn’t the time to think about his lack of knowledge. He had to figure out how to calm her or at least soothe some of her anxiety. But what could he do? She is a doctor, she probably knew how to handle her own issues. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

 

_Who heals the healer?_

 

 

Cullen took his right hand off the steering wheel and placed it over Emily’s hand that was resting on her thigh. He gently squeezed it and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. It seemed to break her out of the trance she was in because she looked up at him with wide eyes, almost like a doe. She was biting her lower lip, to the point where Cullen had noticed she drew blood in one spot. He squeezed her hand again, trying to focus on the road since getting into the hospital was hard enough. Twists and turns and different exits on the highway for different parts of the hospital made normal people confused, let alone a person trying to console another.

 

 

“We’re almost there.” He says lightly.

 

 

“I-I know.” She breathes heavily.

 

 

“Everything will be okay, if anyone in this hospital is as great as you, she will be in good hands.” He says, trying to reassure her, he could feel her shaking under his grip.

 

 

“It’s been years since I’ve seen them.” Emily admits.

 

 

“Is that why you never talk about them?” Cullen asks, curiously, as he makes his way to the parking garage.

 

 

“I talk to my sister often, but I’m worried the rest of the family I’ve cut off will be there.” She sighs, rubbing her forehead with her hand.

 

 

“I see.” He starts. “Is there anything I can do?”

 

 

“I’m sorry I’ve dragged you along, if you wish to go home, please go.” Emily says sadly, once they pull into a parking spot.

 

 

“Do you want me to?” He asks, wondering if she is worried that she’s imposing on him.

 

 

“I don’t want you to see the side of my family that I hate. Once they see me, they will tear me apart and you will hear awful things.” Emily says frustrated. “Something not about me will quickly turn to me and it will not be easy to endure. Especially if they start asking you questions.”

 

 

“I will not let you be disrespected, Emily.” He warns, getting out of the car quickly to run around to the other side to open Emily’s door for her. He held his hand out and helped her out, placing his hand on her back to lead her into the hospital main lobby.

 

 

“It wont be just me they disrespect, I do not want them to say horrible things to you.” She sighs once more, then stopping before the opening doors to the ER. Cullen noted to himself how beautiful she looked in this moment. The wind outside was softly blowing her long black hair around her shoulders, the night sky and hospital lights lit her eyes up. It was so easy to get lost in the ethereal being that was Emily. 

 

 

“You will not endure this alone, I refuse to release you into a sea of sharks when you are bleeding.” Cullen half whispers, taking a strand of Emily’s hair and pushing it behind her ear. His hand lingering on the edge of her face, his thumb rubbing her cheek. Emily could feel her cheeks heating with color and she was thankful it was nighttime so Cullen couldn’t see. Looking into his eyes, she saw what she always saw, his chivalrous self. Cullen was a true man, strong and capable of protection, he was more handsome than she ever imagined. He stood before her proud and tall, heavenly and so, so, brave. His hair had begun to curl at his nape and a slight curl was sitting on the center of his forehead, a sight Emily didn’t get to see much but relished in it’s rarity. 

 

 

“You’d really stay?” She asks, her heart fluttering at his gallant act. “For me?”

 

Emily was allowing herself to revel in such a luxury of being with Cullen. In such a short time, she came to be rather fond of the man and hoped this would last. It was dangerous coming to her own hospital after a date with him, but no one she knew here was working right now so it was safer. It was exhausting hiding this from the people she trusted but her friends were all living their lives, how could she bother them with her own issues and drama? Cullen felt like her only friend right now, except she knew she shouldn’t feel this way about a friend. He was always there even if most of the times were for his appointments.   Cullen came to see her happily, he enjoyed her presence and there was nothing better in life than feeling wanted. Especially when you spend most of it hated and unwanted, rejected for being yourself. Emily knew she could be her true self around Cullen. 

 

“For you.” He smiles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips then another to her hairline.

 

 

**———**

 

 

After winding hallways and too many signs to pay attention to, the pair found their way to the room her sister was admitted in. It was easy to find because Anthony was standing outside the room, his arms crossing his chest and one foot propped against the wall. He was average height, average weight. His hair was black and perfectly coiffed above his head and he wore a forest green cardigan over a black t shirt and dark washed jeans. Emily remembered how rich her family was, just by looking at his designer shoes and clothing.

 

 

“Anthony.” Emily breathed, letting go of Cullen’s hand. There was a small waiting area with chairs and magazines, along with a vending machine and a small tv by her sisters room.

 

 

“Emily.” He greeted, coming off of the wall to see her.

 

 

“What is happening? Where is everyone?” She asks, wondering why more people aren’t around.

 

 

“Your parents will be here shortly, they were in Orlais visiting one of your uncles. Their flight should be landing in an half an hour or so.” He answers.

 

 

“How, how is she?” She asks, clearing her throat so she doesn’t cry. She felt Cullen’s presence behind her and watched as Cullen sat down in one of the chairs. He gave her a small smile before opening a magazine.

 

 

“She’s in stable condition now.” Anthony replies.

 

 

“Can I go in and see her?” Emily asks, ready to open the door before Anthony stops her.

 

 

“She’s not in there right now.” He says.

 

 

“You said she was in stable condition, why not?” She asks, panic setting in.

 

 

“They’re performing an emergency cesarean section. I was told I wasn’t allowed in the operating room due to the stress her body was under from the accident.” Anything breathes out, looking away and then looking back with tears in the corner of his eyes. “They said she was trapped in the car for an hour.”

 

 

“Maker.” Emily curses. “So they have her stabilized but their main concern is the baby, is what you’re saying?”

 

 

“Precisely.” He states, frustration taking over.

 

 

“Fuck.” She curses again, feeling the heat behind her eyes again. The pressure in her chest was suffocating and she knew Cullen was watching her now. She knew what Anthony was saying. The baby is the main concern and they won’t save her sister if she gets past the point of saving if it means her or the baby. “She made that choice?”

 

 

“Yes. It was a choice she made months ago when we discussed this type of thing. I just never thought we’d actually have to see it happen!” Anthony kicked the wall next to them with his shoe.

 

 

“She will pull through, Anthony.” Emily says, trying to keep herself and him calm. “She has to.”

 

 

“All we can do is wait.” He breathes out, leaning against the wall again. “Please, relax. I can’t even sit right now.” He motions to the chairs where Cullen is sitting.

 

 

“Are you hungry?” She asks both Cullen and Anthony. “I work here so I can grab us food.”

 

 

“No.” Anthony and Cullen both chorus.

 

 

Emily nodded before finding an uncomfortable seat next to Cullen. She laid her head on his broad shoulder, his head leaning onto hers. Cullen’s hand found hers once more and the overwhelming sense of serenity came back to Emily. It was strange how his touch calmed her so. It only seemed fitting since hers took away Cullen’s aches and pains. Emily knew they would be here for quite some time since surgery was not easy, especially when it came to c sections. After a few moments and the events of today weighing heavily on her shoulders, Emily could feel herself dozing off. Cullen was very comfortable and being in his presence made her calm and made her relax, it made her wonder if she would actually get a good nights rest if she slept with him in an actual bed. Of course, those were thoughts for when she wasn’t waiting for a life or death situation to choose itself. 

 

Then her mind began to wander. 

 

She imagined being tightly pressed against Cullen’s warm, bare chest just before bed. She envisioned strong arms wrapped around her body, her face laying on his chest, and a soft melody coming from his lips. She pictured his curly golden hair all splayed out and unruly between her fingers, her lips on his and her body comfortably a piece fitting in a jigsaw puzzle that is her life. 

 

Emily wondered what it would be like to wake up next to him. Would he be holding onto her warm body when she awakes? Would he still be snoring next to her while she played with his hair? Or would he be the kind to wake up early to cook her breakfast? It was thoughts like these that would make her heart explode and her conscience unrecognizable. For now, she would allow herself to sleep on him in the uncomfortable hospital chairs. It’s goof to be a very, very long night. 

 

It was time to play the waiting game.

 

 

———

 

 

“Em.” A voice echoed.

 

 

“Emily.” Cullen’s voice then broke through as Emily woke from a short nap. It was getting late, probably past midnight at this point.

 

 

“What? What’s wrong?” She asks, shooting up from his shoulder.

 

 

“Nothing, your uh, family is here.” He whispered, nervously.

 

 

Emily sat up straight and rubbed her eyes with a short yawn. She straightened her clothing out and fixed her hair before standing up to greet the people she hadn’t seen in years standing before them. They were all standing next to Anthony, barely acknowledging Emily’s existence, like usual, she thought.

 

 

First was her father, the tall and skinny man with salt and pepper hair. He had on a plain black suit with a royal blue tie and a golden tie clip. Then there was her mother, slightly shorter than her father but a bit heavier. She wore a long, red wine colored dress that stopped at her ankles and a gold colored shawl over her shoulders. Her hair was pulled into a high up do, more pepper colored than salt like her father.

 

Next to them stood her eldest brother, Johnathan. He was tall like her father with black hair, a hard part was his chosen hairstyle. He also dawned a suit but his was navy blue with tan designer shoes. His gold watch was large on his wrist but who cares? Her family was disgustingly wealthy so why not show it off? She used to have a great relationship with him until her family cut her off for trying to divorce Liam.

 

 

Emily felt horribly under dressed, though it seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t inconvenienced by her sisters accident. Her parents came from fucking Orlais and her brother lived in Ostwick still, keeping the Trevelyan house warm it seems.

 

 

After mustering up enough courage to face the strangers in front of her, she stepped right up to them, gaining their audience.

 

 

“Mother, father, Johnathan.” She tried to smile diplomatically.

 

 

“Well, if it isn’t our ungrateful youngest. Hello dear.” Her father greeted, sharply.

 

 

“You all are faring quite well I assume?” She asks, Cullen blown away by her formality with the people who should love her. He was stunned by how she spoke to her family, it was like she still carried her nobility in her blood. Cullen forgot how regal nobility could be because he hasn’t been around anyone of such status in a very long time. He couldn’t understand how a family could be so cold to their daughter, it made his blood boil.

 

 

“Mm, yes.” Her mother began. “I’m sure you’d be fine as well if you didn’t ruin our trade with Liam’s family.”

 

 

“Still holding a grudge dear mama? I’ve heard these days that holding grudges causes wrinkles and high blood pressure. Maybe you should be careful, I can already see the crows feet on your beautiful blue eyes.” Emily scoffs, earning a slight chuckle from her older brother. Of course, Johnathan was stone cold before anyone could say anything.

 

 

“Sister, you told Amelia that you had been promoted. What exactly do you do now?” John asks, trying to ease the tension that was now growing.

 

 

“I run the crisis floor here. I’m in charge of all incoming patients, basically I run the floor.” Emily says, half smiling. It was hard not to be proud of herself, Cullen was certainly proud of her for accomplishing so much so young.

 

 

“Oh, stop acting like you are so important. All you do is deal with druggies and tortured soldiers.” Her mom replies rudely. Cullen felt something snap inside him but he knew he couldn’t do anything. There was no way he could make this any better for her.

 

 

“I wouldn’t be calling saving hundreds of lives over the course of two years nothing, mother.” Emily states, coldly.

 

 

“You wouldn’t have a job if the Divine didn’t have a soft spot for the sad souls.” Her father begins. “The Chantry knows best, dearest, those washed up Templars with PTSD should be put out of their misery as soon as possible. Your mediocre studies only push their expiration date farther away.”

 

 

“Father!” She warned, stepping closer to him with her fists balled up.

 

 

 

That was it for Cullen. There was no stopping him from finding his place by Emily’s side. He could not listen to them degrade her and her life’s work any longer, especially when they feel they know so much about Templar life. He knew he needed to be as calm as possible but somehow he knew what he needed to do.

 

 

“Love, how about we take a seat until Amelia returns okay?” He asks, sweetly, a smile on his face. Emily knew exactly what he was doing and as much as she didn’t want to play along, she knew she needed to.

 

 

“And who might you be?” Johnathan asks, defensively. As much as he wanted to hate his little sister, he could never forget their bond as children. Naturally, any man in her life needed to be approved by him.

 

 

“I’m Cullen Rutherford, Mr. Trevelyan. I am Emily’s boyfriend.” His tone sharp as a blade, but his softness in his demeanor made Emily’s heart sing.

 

 

“How quaint! Boy, you do know she is in fact still married, don’t you?” Emily’s father steps in. “She’ll never have enough money to get a divorce. You should just cut your losses now.”

 

 

“If I recall, her divorce settlement has been paid for already.” Cullen answers curtly. “It is only a matter of time before she moves on with her life.”

 

 

Emily was shocked. She hadn’t told Cullen that someone had paid for her fees for the lawyers. Her heart was pumping faster and she broke out in a cold sweat, she never really talks about her marriage with anyone and she never told him her troubles with her impending divorce either. How could he possibly know about that unless he-

 

 

Sweet Maker!

 

 

“Is that so? And of what importance might you be, Mr. Rutherford?” Her mom asks, teasingly.

 

 

“If I may, I’ll introduce myself fully then. I am Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath, best friend and accomplice to the Hero of Fereldan and former Knight-Commander of Kirkwall. Pleased to meet you all.” He bows slightly, with a smile on his face.

 

 

Emily couldn’t believe her ears, best friend of the fucking Hero of Fereldan?! Knight-Commander?! She had no idea of his previous titles and the nitty gritty details but holy hell. There was so much she still didn’t know about him and that stabbed her right in her gut. What had she been doing? Living her fantasies? She worried herself and now she wondered what she had done. Although, she couldn’t hide her happiness at Cullen’s snarky introduction. He played his role well as she knew that’s what he had planned. Her family stood there like statues, unsure of how to respond to Cullen’s regal demeanor and his significant rank.

 

 

“Amazing how you three have nothing to say now.” Emily laughed before taking her seat with Cullen once more.

 

 

Leaving an awkward yet accomplished silence, Emily would have to ponder the events that took place just now. Especially where Cullen basically told her family that he paid for her divorce. That one left Emily as speechless as ever, a discussion for later, she thought. 

 

 

———

 

 

Hours had passed but it seemed like days. It was nearly morning so Emily made the calls to her office and to Dr. Pentaghast about her situation. Cullen had called into work just to be with Emily, which she thought was too sweet to handle.

 

 

Amelia had returned moments ago but her family obviously had priority over her and Cullen. In this case, they were just visitors not immediate family. As grotesque as it sounded, there was nothing Emily could say or do about it. The only thing that mattered to her was that her sister was alive and so was her baby. The doctors who operated on her said she fought hard to stay alive, that her chances were slim for survival. Emily was sure the Maker had heard her prayers, happiness was all she could feel in this moment.

 

 

Emily had talked to Johnathan alone, for once. They spoke of Amelia’s condition and it seemed she would make it out fine, they would discharge her in a few days. He told her the baby was a boy, her and Anthony named him after their father, Gregorian. Emily’s eyes rolled at the hideous name choice but there was nothing she could do about it.

 

 

Johnathan told her he had been seeing someone as well, outside of his own marriage. It turned out that her whole family had secrets but he was keeping many from their beloved parents. After so long, John wants to rekindle their relationship and offered to have her and Cullen come stay with him over the holidays. It was much to think about but thanksgiving is close by and she wanted nothing more to be with John and his mistress, along with Anthony and Amelia. Their parents would be off vacationing somewhere tropical so it made things easier when it came to deciding on going or not.

 

 

Once Emily’s parents had enough of visiting, they flew off back to Orlais to their distant relatives. It was finally time for Emily to meet her sister and her sisters child. Many emotions came from meeting a sister she hadn’t seen in so long, especially since they don’t even talk over the phone. Amelia and Anthony still live with their parents, so Amelia isn’t allowed to speak to Emily.

 

 

Things will be different this time, Emily thought to herself. She wondered how Cullen would feel and how he does feel right now. Was she imposing on him? She would need to thank him for staying with her for so long, protecting her from her own family. He really was a knight in shining armor, she thought with a smile.

 

 

“Are you ready to meet my sister?” Emily asked, taking Cullen’s hand in hers.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am SO sorry for not updating forever. There has been so much going on like: Hurricane Florence making me evacuate NC, being in college, getting sick, and then recently going back home to see my family. 
> 
> Being a military spouse is exhausting sometimes, lol.
> 
> I promise I’ll get more content out! I also have started doing fan art on my tumblr! I’ll link it below if y’all wanna see it. :) 
> 
> •••
> 
> This chapter may be triggering to some, so please, be safe and DO NOT read if you are prone to anything.

**I Chapter Ten:**

 

 

Reeling from Cullen’s confession to her parents earlier, Emily was trying not to show her discomfort. The things Cullen had said was news to her and she felt the goosebumps on her arms when thinking about it, still. Things he’d never mentioned before. Quite frankly, Emily was freaking out on the inside but she was trying very hard not to show it on the outside.

 

This was something they’d desperately needed to discuss later, she noted as she crossed her arms as she walked.

 

“Emily?” The familiar, cool-toned voice calls out.

 

Tears threatening her eyes for a good reason this time, Emily rushes to her sisters side. Amelia, with her arm outstretched, pulls Emily into a half-hug. Closing her eyes and relishing the warmth and familiarity of her sister, Emily lets a out a long and shaky breath.

 

It had been years since they had seen each other and it was almost too perfect now. Of course they’d meet again in some situation like this, Amelia’s near death car accident and cesarean section. Remembering all of the trouble they used to get into as kids, Emily laughed at the joyous memories of her childhood before she realized she was a mage.

 

A small grunt breaks Emily out of her stupor. Opening her eyes, Emily lowers her eyes to see a small, tightly cocooned, infant in the arms of Amelia. The tiny babes eyes barely open only being hours old and a fragile hand laid against the face.

 

“This is Adelaide.” Amelia introduces.

 

Shocked, Emily looks back at her sister in disbelief. “I thought you were having a boy!”

 

“We all did! I guess the doctors did, too. That is, until Miss here was born. Turns out she had been turned over just enough for the doctors to think she was a boy but her stubbornness really was the reason why.” Amelia smiles softly, stroking the smooth cheek of the child.

 

“Oh, Amelia... She is so beautiful.” Emily coos, caressing the other cheek with her thumb, earning a slight smile from Adelaide.

 

Emily felt the tightness in her chest as she looked at the perfect little human in her sisters arms. Would one day Emily have her own? She looked at Cullen who had a handsome smile on his face, he was watching the baby as closely as she was. Would Cullen be good with kids? Would he even want kids? No, Emily, get a grip. If you can’t trust him to tell you important things like being a former Knight-Commander or knowing the Hero personally, could she trust him to have more than a simple fling?

 

Mentally scolding herself for even thinking of something like that with a man she just started kind of dating, Emily listened as her sister spoke.

 

“I’m sure mother and father were ecstatic to see it was another girl.” Amelia rolled her eyes and chuckled.

 

“The look on fathers face must’ve been priceless!” Emily laughs. Everyone knew that her father wanted another boy so their family name would live on, or at least to be named after him. It was almost too perfect that he didn’t get his way after all.

 

Placing her finger between the small five fingers of her new niece, Emily coo’d when Adelaide gripped her tightly. The feeling of such a soft, new, being in this world warmed Emily’s thawing heart and she felt like this only one other time and that was with Cullen. A feeling born of something entirely new, a feeling never felt before. 

 

A small cough in the corner of the room broke Emily out of her joy for a moment, reminding her that Cullen had been standing there still.

 

“Shit! I’m so sorry, Cullen- Amelia, this is... Cullen.” Emily freezes, immediately her heart pausing a moment in her chest. Reality suddenly slapping her harder than any pile of bricks she’d ever felt.

 

“Hello, Cullen.” Amelia smiles sweetly.

 

Cullen walks forward and finds his place next to Emily once more this evening, taking Amelia’s hand in introduction. “I can see why your sister is so fond of you.” Cullen remarks, a small smile on his face.

 

“Of course she is, I am her big sister. She has to like me whether she wants to or not!” Amelia mocks.

 

“I suppose.” Emily groans.

 

“How long have you been dating my sister?” Amelia asks, earning wide eyes from Emily. The sudden question sending a huge chill down Emily’s spine. She had to think quick and diffuse the situation before it got out of hand.

 

“We’re not-“

 

“A few month-“

 

The two interrupted one another with very different statements. Her sister and her sisters husband both perk up, though very confused at what just took place. Emily and Cullen share a glance, Cullen’s confusion written all over his face and Emily’s fear ghosting over her skin with bumps.

 

“This is a rather touchy subject, sister. I’d rather speak of Cullen and I another time. Perhaps, when you’ve not just had surgery and a baby?” Emily’s formality back, a cover for her deeply felt emotions.

 

“Of course, I’m sure you and Cullen have much to discuss tonight.” Amelia’s tone suggesting she understood more than she should about the pair.

 

“Yes, we do.” Cullen reminds, a look in his eyes that is unfamiliar to Emily shakes her core. His expression unsure of why she just denied that they were together, his brows raised in such a question.

 

“How about you two come back tomorrow after your shift, Emmy. It’s about time you get to sleep and I am sure Cullen has a job he needs to attend to as well.” Amelia suggests, rubbing Emily’s shoulder.

 

“Of course. Amelia, it was wonderful to meet you.” Cullen smiles and nods to Emily’s sister, turning to Emily’s brother in law. “Likewise.”

 

“Emily.” Amelia whispers, motioning her to come close.

 

“What?” Emily asks, leaning in.

 

“I like him, do bring him around more often.” She winks, before kissing her sisters cheek to say goodbye.

 

“Amelia!” Emily protests.

 

“Don’t screw this up, Emily. You need this more than anything, I saw the way you looked at him a little while ago. I see the way he looks at you with such adoration. Just go with the flow, babe.” Amelia insists.

 

“Ugh, you are ridiculous.” Emily sighs.

 

“Only because I care about your happiness unlike everyone else in this Maker forsaken family.” Amelia groans.

 

“I love you, Ammy.” Emily smiles, her discomfort with Cullen’s admission coming back to her in waves. Her stomach had been twisting in knots but now she felt like she’d throw up. 

 

“I love you most, Emmy.” Amelia sings, before tending to her child who needs to be fed.

 

After exiting the room, Cullen softly closed the door behind them and followed Emily down the long, dim hallway. Emily had already darted halfway down the hallway, looking like she was rushing to leave. Of course, that’s because she was having awful thoughts.

 

“Emily.” He calls out, as the reach the middle of the hallway.

 

She doesn’t respond, as she is lost in her own thoughts.

 

“ _Em_.” He gets louder in his attempt to reach her.

 

Her heart was beating a mile a minute and her hands had grown clammy and shaky. Was she Cullen’s girlfriend? He had just met the important part of her family and the family she tried to hide from everyone. That makes him way more important than he was before. Amelia even liked him, which makes everything one hundred times more serious than she’d imagined. Cullen introduced himself as her boyfriend to her parents and older brother. Cullen introduced himself as the Hero of Fereldan’s best friend and former Knight-Commander of Kirkwall! Did that also mean Cullen was there for the destruction of the chantry, did he aide in the slaughtering of mages? When he spoke of his past in their early sessions of therapy, he said he had a dark one.

 

“Emily!” Cullen pulls her back by her forearm and spins her to meet his eyes.

 

The terrified look on her face and the shakes of her body told Cullen exactly what he feared she’d feel. He had left this part out of their therapy sessions because he knew she was a mage and if he told her the gruesome bits of his past as a Templar, she could’ve turned him away. The thought of being rejected after meeting the only woman who didn’t look at him like he was broken, broke him. He still remembered the look in her eyes and her kind smile the day he met her in the hospital on the floor.

 

“Look at me.” Cullen begs, holding her cheeks in his palms.

 

Looking up into his eyes, Emily could see the sheer fear he held in them. Why didn’t he tell her about being friends with her distant cousin? Why didn’t he tell her that he was a Knight-Commander in Kirkwall of all places? People she loved were torn from her fingers in Kirkwall. Friends she had made in the circle were murdered in cold blood because of the Templars rage and trigger happy hands! Cullen would have never known she was there but she was and in this moment, she was reliving ever horrible moment of it.

 

“Emily, talk to me! Say something! Anything!” Cullen pleaded, his hands beginning to shake.

 

Pulling from his grip, Emily backed away a few spaces. Trying to count her breaths to calm herself, Emily tried to breath before she spoke.

 

“W-why didn’t you t-tell me?” Emily stuttered, her tongue moving faster than her brain. Her anxiety speeding up her reactions.

 

“Tell you what?” He asks.

 

“That you were there! In Kirkwall!” Emily replies, louder than she wanted. Her resolve was loosening.

 

“I was going to, Emily. You have to believe that I was going to, I just-“

 

“You just what!?” She begins. “Wanted to justify the fact that you were leading the armies of the faithful to slaughter hundreds of innocent men and women, children? Cullen!”

 

“You don’t understand, I wan-“

 

“How could you? How could you hide this from me? How could you meet my most cherished sister and my asshole parents and tell them you were my boyfriend when you are the sole reason people I cared about died?!” Emily cries, her anger starting to get the best of her. The deepest parts of her memories were playing out in front of her, traumatic memories she thought she’d repressed.

 

Cullen was dumbfounded, he never knew Emily had been there. He never knew that she had lost so much until this moment, he could see the devastation on her face. It felt like a punch to the gut.

 

••

 

“We need to go! The Templars are almost here!” A scratchy, high-pitched yell sounded throughout the room.

 

“Where are we supposed to go? All of our exits are blocked!!” Emily’s young, scared voice echoes.

 

Around them were sounds of violence, fighting between the mages and Templars. There had been a breech at the hospital Emily was getting her internship done at. On top of taking care of sick, Lyrium-withdrawn Templars, they were aiding mages fleeing from corruption.

 

Emily had been learning how to soothe the pains of withdrawal and had met many men and women there. The plague that had spread amongst the men and women of the Chantry was heartbreaking to watch, especially if Emily couldn’t help them.

 

Regarding the mages, she was also helping younger men and women not succumb to the temptations of the darkness. Teaching them how to dream safely in the fade and repress their intense desires to avoid attracting demons. Emily had learned so much in such a short period of time and she had saved countless lives during such a chaotic time.

 

“How did they find us?” A male voice cried out, confusing masking his injured will. Evan was his name. His calf had been shot when they were running up the stairs; he was bleeding profusely.

 

“Someone must have ratted us out for harboring apostates.” Gemma, the voice from before yelled back frantically. She was the lead doctor in the clinic they were running, Emily had learned everything from her and the two were bonded closely.

 

“There’s a window, if I remember correctly the fire escape should be right below us!” Emily thought fast, her quick thinking was one of her best traits when helping patients.

 

“Good work, Em. I’ll stand guard, the two of you get down there!” Evan says, trying to hurry them out the broken window.

 

“What? Evan, no! You come with us!” Gemma’s face twisted in disbelief. Even though it wasn’t common knowledge, Emily knew of the couple’s affairs.

 

“My leg is busted, Gemma. You two need to get out of here while you can.” He begins, reaching for her hand and kissing the back of it.

 

The sounds of bombs and smoke were filling the already dark room they were in. All of them flinched at the sounds, their hair standing on edge.

 

“I’m not leaving you here!” Gemma cried, Emily could feel the sweat dripping down her back.

 

“I love you, Gem. If you don’t get out of here, my efforts will have gone to waste and we’ll all be dead.” Evan protests, holding Gemma’s arms in his hands.

 

“Evan, n-“

 

“Go!” Evan yelled, locking eyes with Emily and exchanging the same thought.

 

Nodding, Emily grabs Gemma by the hand and pulls her towards the window. “Now!” She begs, watching her friend leave her lover behind.

 

“I will see you soon, Ev!” Gemma called out through her tears.

 

Gemma and Emily escaping through the window and dropping down a foot to the fire escape, watch Evan throw up a barrier in front of the door. Landing harshly, Gemma winces and Emily takes her hand once more as they begin to run across the escape to the lower level of the building. A hiss insinuated that Gemma had landed wrong and injured herself.

 

The fear chasing them and sheer anxiety of it all felt like someone was just about to grab them even though they were hundreds of feet and a floor away. A loud explosion from the floor they were just on sounded through the burning night sky. Turning around, the girls were faced with the harsh reality of losing one of their closest allies. Gemma’s blood-curdling scream echoed through her tears and all Emily could do was watch in horror. It was like all existence of Evan had disappeared, you couldn’t feel his magic anymore and that was the worst part because that meant he was really dead.

 

“No!” Gemma screamed, running back towards the ladder of the fire escape.

 

“Gemma we have to keep moving!” Emily cried, her tears blinding her eyes as she grabbed ahold of her dear friend trying to hold her back. Reaching for her friend desperately climbing the fire escape, Emily tried to grab her by her ankle. Without a moment to blink, as Gemma topped the escape, an ear-splitting bang rang out.

 

Gemma fell to the walkway on the escape, a single shot the the forehead had damaged her once beautiful face. Stifling her scream, Emily covered her mouth and stared in horror at her best friend, her mentor. Tears streaming down her face, Emily could hear the shuffling of boots on concrete and ran for her life.

 

This would change her forever.

 

••

 

“Emily, what’s wrong?!” Cullen’s voice echoed through her sudden attack. He was holding her tightly in his grip, her arms would most likely bruise from the contact. His face was written with horror and confusion as to what he might’ve just witnessed.

 

It had been years since Emily experienced the sudden onset of her PTSD. She was originally taking medication to suppress the depression and horrible side effects of her gruesome past, but stopped taking them because it made her feel like a zombie. No one knew that most of her clinical training had come from a war zone.

 

“Emily!” Cullen cries out.

 

Emily had sunk to the floor and had stayed completely silent through reliving her memories. Usually, she would have cried but this time she had nothing to cry left in her. She probably looks pale from being dehydrated along with being anxious. Emily could only imagine what she looked like at present, especially to Cullen who didn’t know she had this problem before.

 

Cullen kneeled in front of her and pulled her into his chest, his arms wrapped around her fragile frame.

 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had been dealing with this...” Cullen softly whispers against her hair. “I am so sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to.”

 

“B-but you didn’t, Cullen.” Emily dry-sobbed into his shoulder. Her body limp from the exhaustion taking over her now. “You were supposed to tell me everything, it was in the contract. As your doctor, I was supposed to know every single detail before I treated you.”

 

“I know. Maker, I’m such a fool.” Cullen sighed, hugging her closer.

 

“A piece of me feels so betrayed.” Emily barely speaks.

 

“You have to know that I didn’t continue any of those horrible things Meredith made us do.” Cullen begins. “You know I’m no longer part of that life, Em. Please trust me.”

 

Slightly pulling away, Emily looks up through her eyelashes and into Cullen’s. “How am I supposed to trust you when you couldn’t tell me something as important as this?”

 

“I know, I know I messed up but please, Em I think I lo-“

 

“Cullen, don’t finish that sentence.” Emily stops, putting her hand on the center of his chest. She could feel the rapid pulse of his heart beneath her fingertips, just like hers. She feared what he might’ve said just then, making her chest ache.

 

“I-“

 

“Cullen.” She hushed, her eyebrows knitting with sadness.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about you having PTSD? Huh?” Cullen starts. “If I was supposed to tell you everything, why didn’t you tell me about this?!” Anger bubbling inside him.

 

“Because you legally don’t need to know what’s going on in my personal life.” Emily coldly replies.

 

“Legally, huh?” He begins. “What about me knowing because I care about you, Emily? What if you should have told me because I thought we were moving things along?” He asks, shaking his head and rubbing his neck uncomfortably.

 

“Moving things along?” Emily scoffs. “You deciding that you were my boyfriend before even talking about it with me is moving things along?”

 

“I had assumed that-“

 

“Right! You assumed that we were on the same page, Cullen. You didn’t ask me, you didn’t say a damn thing until you were gloating about your rank and position in front of my pretentious parents!” Emily begins to stand from the ground. “Don’t even get me started on the things you did behind my back!”

 

“Like what?!” Cullen roars.

 

“Like paying my lawyer the money I needed to finally get a divorce!” Emily breaks, losing all control. “I had been saving up the money to do it, on my own, without any help! You didn’t even know me then! I was just beginning to be your doctor!”

 

“I did it to make you happy!” Cullen yells. “I heard you crying to yourself in your office when you were talking to your husband, I wanted you to be free of him!”

 

“Why?!” Emily asks. “So you could stake your claim on the little ol’ broken doctor of yours that you’d been eavesdropping on?!”

 

“No! Makers balls, why can’t you accept that maybe I wanted to do something good in my life?” Cullen huffs, running his hands through his hair, messing his curls up.

 

“I didn’t ask you to!” Emily rears.

 

“You didn’t have to!” He retorts.

 

“Fuck!” She yells, wiping her eyes. “I can’t do this, Cullen.” Feeling her heart sink to the floor. “I lost everything in Kirkwall because of the Templars..”

 

“W-What? Do what?” Cullen asks, stopping dead in his tracks.

 

Silence dropped low over the two. The only thing that could be heard was the beating of their hearts and the soft cries that escaped Emily’s lips. The couple felt the shock of her words in their stomachs and the weight of them in their hearts.

 

A few dreadful silent moments passed before Emily spoke again.

 

“You’re my patient. Not my boyfriend. I can’t do this. I’ve lost too much and I’ve risked so much being with you! I could lose everything!” She cries, throwing her hands in the air in defeat.

 

Obviously, her statement took Cullen by surprise and hit him like a punch to the chest.

 

“Emily, no. We can work through this, I-“

 

“No, we can’t. I lost control and I let things get too far.” Emily sobs. “We need to put an end to this and I need to relinquish my duties to you and send you to Cassandra.”

 

“Emily..” Cullen pleads, taking a step towards her.

 

“Stop.” Emily protests. “Don’t come any closer. You know just as well as I do that, these kinds of secrets don’t end well.”

 

“Don’t do this.” He begs.

 

“I have to! Can’t you see, Cullen?! I’m way too attached to you already, could you imagine if someone found us out! I would lose my job, my license, my house, everything! I’d lose you, too! They would take you from me, just like every other person that’s been ripped from me!” Emily cries louder. “I’ve barely made it this far, I wouldn’t make it much further if that happened.”

 

Taking another careful step forward, Cullen approaches Emily further. Taking another step backward, Emily hits the wall of the stone hospital as they’ve traveled outside since their depart from Amelia’s room.

 

“I’m not giving up on this.” Cullen whispers steadily, moving closer with his hands low at his side.

 

“We need to!” She pleaded with him, her mascara staining her cheeks and eyes. “This is just a product of a patient feeling like he loves the person helping him feel better with medication and a doctor feeling too deeply about your situation.”

 

“You cannot convince me to walk away from the most beautiful, selfless, intelligent woman that I’ve met in my lifetime.” Cullen denies, taking her face into his hands and quickly crashing his lips onto hers.

 

Another silence fell upon them, Cullen’s kiss strong and full of passion took Emily back. Her eyes wide and her hands in the air, shocked at his sudden actions during their heated argument. Unable to resist the strength that is Cullen, Emily gave into his tempting heat.

 

Each kiss felt like she was being seared by a white hot knife, without the pain. Cullen always had a way of making her feel everything differently, his touch made her melt into him. One hand held her close by her back and the other hooked dutifully on the back of her head, each finger woven into her hair. The rise and fall of his broad chest pressed against her, the burn of her boiling blood cooling.

 

“It will hurt less in the end if you walk away from me now.” Emily sighed, tears still dripping down her face.

 

“If I walk away now, I’ll miss out on the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time.” Cullen whispers against her lips.

 

“Cullen, please, I can’t.” She sighs halfway between a breathless sob. “If I am forced to walk away from you I don’t know if-“

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Cullen protests, before attacking her lips with passionate fervor. “I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

 

After a few more moments of their heated exchange, Cullen slightly pulled away to rest his forehead against hers.

 

“I promise, I will continue my treatment and I will not leave your side.” Cullen breathes.

 

“What will I do? I can’t be openly dating my patient.” Emily reminds him.

 

“Once you’re done saving my life, you can take this knowledge elsewhere! Take your talents to all parts of Thedas, extend your knowledge to the Wardens and the Calling and use it for mages. You could become the worlds best healer.” Cullen suggest, excitedly. “I could always be by your side as living proof that you are a miracle worker sent by the Maker himself.”

 

“I guess I’d never thought about it that way.” Emily ponders the idea. “That’s a long while from now, though. You’re sure you’ll make it through the next few trials? I don’t want you to push yourself.”

 

“100%. With you, I feel unstoppable, Emily. You are my muse, my motivation, and my inspiration.” Cullen smiles brightly, kissing her again. “We could change the world.”

 

“Really?” She smiles halfway.

 

“Really, love.” He kisses her nose.

 

“If this is what you truly want, then..”

 

“I want it all, everything, all the time with you. You and I.” Cullen beams, the moonlight exaggerating his strikingly handsome features. His eyes illuminated and on display, Emily felt like she could die.

 

“Then we’ll do it. Let’s make Thedas a better place.” Emily smiles. “Together.”

 

“Together.” Cullen whispers, taking her lips once more with her tightly wrapped in his embrace.

 

Little did they know that someone was watching their every move.


End file.
